WTF is Happening in Thailand Right Now?!?

Red Shirts, Yellow Shirts, the King’s illness, His successors… With all this confusion and censorship, it is hard to get the Real Story and understand WTF is actually happening in Thailand right now.  I’ve done my best to keep up on it all, but THIS VIDEO tells it all.  Take some time to watch the special report that demystifies the political situation in Thailand Right Now…

Foreign Correspondent

(If you are having trouble viewing, go HERE to watch or download)

Questions and Concerns:

With these events happening here, I’m sure many may be scared off to either Travel or Live here.  My personal experience is that areas outside of Bangkok are Not Affected.  While the news reporters have made declarations of Thailand being unsafe, I would not agree.  Where I live, in Krabi, there are no Red Shirts, no demonstrations, and the only thing exploding are occasional fireworks on the beach.  While I find it very encouraging to stay abreast to the information and political climate, I would say that Thailand is currently still a safe place to visit and live.

The bulk of activities and demonstrations are happening in Bangkok, which can be completely avoided, or if you want to avoid Bangkok altogether, you can fly from the airport to any surrounding cities or islands.  Cody from Thrilling Heroics has done a great write up on the current situation, as well as a fantastic new guide for people coming here, Check it out:

27 Tips for First-Time Travelers to Thailand

Please feel free to leave any questions or comments below, I’d be happy to answer any questions I can.

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Flies in My Lipgloss and other Motorbike Escapades

One of my big fears I decided to conquer this year was driving a motorbike in Thailand.  If you’ve followed past stories, you know I was in an accident … or two.  I would liken driving in Thailand to juggling swords.  Pretty much every time I do it… I almost die.

Seriously.

In one day of driving to and from the school I work at, I encounter nearly every form of demise in a variety of all shapes and sizes.  People drive on the opposite side of the road here, drive head on at you from either side of the road, and you are constantly dodging dogs, children, monks, tuk-tuks, other motorbikes, super-sized trucks, and paving equipment.

Right now, they are doing some construction.  A minor inconvenience of six to twenty foot ditches are running alongside the road with absolutely no warning or boundaries.  I call this part of my drive “The Graveyard”.  But somehow, even through the mayhem, I still make it to my destination unscathed, every day.

Most of these steps can also be applied to Life…

I’m slightly humored that this new event has brought about some valuable lessons I’m applying to more than just driving, and I hope they can help you, or at least make you laugh…

1. Have someone show you the ropes… or at least the brakes

When in doubt, get someone to help.  My friend Hilton took me out to drive on my first day.  I was hoping to go for a gentle ride around slow and straight roads.  What I got instead was a very real taste of what it is like to drive in Thailand.

We went down very windy roads, dirt and gravel roads, practiced skidding emergency stops, sped through a pack of wild attack dogs, then onto a road covered with paving equipment, spraying water trucks and slippery oiled asphalt chunks.  The traffic was down to one lane and oncoming traffic squeezed us up against the six inch shoulder.  Once that event was complete, back to a dirt road where geese proceeded to rear up and nearly attack us.

That night, it rained, and I was sure I had seen it all.  Even though I hoped for a more gentle introduction to riding, I realized that I would need to be comfortable in each of those situations, and inevitably they got me through my first week of driving where I needed to use each skill I learned in my training.

2. Assume everyone around you is going to do something stupid

Not to be a pessimist but I’ve discovered something that has made me much more happy.  I now assume that people around me are going to do something stupid. On the road, or in life, people are typically looking out for number one, and you are not it.  Really, some days as I am weaving in and out of Songtows (trucks that act as busses), motorbikes piled high with people and dogs, and ruthless truck drivers, I realize it is a miracle that we are all able to make it to our destinations alive.  If I assume we’re all just a bunch of fuck-ups trying to get to our destination, life and driving becomes a lot more bearable.

3. Don’t worry about what’s behind you, or you’ll crash

If I’m too worried about what is happening behind me, I start to get very overwhelmed and miss what I should be looking at:  what’s happening right in front of me.  Driving here is scary because trucks move at a much faster speed behind you and can invariably push you off the road if you aren’t paying attention.  But, I’m learning more and more to ignore them, take my time, and claim my space.

4. Change your speed when you need to

I recently read some statistics about how many traffic fatalities there are a year.  He made an excellent point of showing the relationships between speeding up and fatalities.  Obviously, the faster you go, the longer it takes to stop.  This is something important to keep in mind in life, as well as driving.

That said, oftentimes it is important to speed up.  I’ve gotten out of many near-catastrophes by speeding up and getting around the situation.  Being able to read the situation helps, and knowing how to change and adapt will get you around turns, ups and downs, and out of dangerous situations fast.

5. Claim your space and own it

This is a very exciting concept for me.  I’ve never really “owned” the space around me.  When you drive here, you very much have to own your space, or you will get run over.  I imagine it must be like being a quarterback and picking your path and going balls-out around and past obstacles.  At the stoplights, you might have twenty or thirty motorbikes lined up with you and when it is “Go Time”, you’ve got to claim that space and go for it.

6. And as Teacher Bill says, “When all else fails, and the road gets rocky, hold on to that Som’Bitch and keep on driving!”

There are so many times I want to Stop Driving.  The road is dusty and gravely (or wet!), the turn too tight, or a big-monster-truck-with-wheels-bigger-than-life cuts so close that I can smell the brake fluid.  My natural reaction is that I want to stop.  But I can’t.

So I take a deep breath, grip my handles tighter, and make it through.  Every time, I’ve lived, and every time, I get just a little bit tougher.  I’m learning more and more to sit through uncomfortable situations rather than trying to avoid them—and what do you know?—I’m getting better at dealing with them, too!!

Hope this finds you well and here are some pictures of my epic journey….

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Learning From Children

As many of you know I’ve taken up teaching in Thailand.  I had nearly ten months of pure vacation and wanted to give back something more to the community.  Also, after multiple visa fiascos, some soul searching, and deciding that I want to stay on in this country, I’ve found it most useful to have a work permit.

The short of it is that if you decide to work in a country, you can set up and be more productive.  My hope was that by committing to a schedule, I would actually get More work done.

Could it be true?

After four months, I would say Absolutely!  The high-schools here require you to teach about four hours a day.  Because I am now on a routine schedule (after a year of lazing about), I am getting up and getting shit done.

I love the interaction with the kids, have learned far more about the culture, and find myself continually learning from children.

Travel Anywhere…

For their midterm assignment, I decided to give them a trip.  They could go anywhere in the world, bring any amount of money, stay as long as they liked, and study anything while they were there.  The response was amazing. I actually got kids to write paragraphs that had barely been constructing sentences.  But, there were also some ways they used the language that made me laugh or brought tears to my eyes.  It also gave me a whole new appreciation for travel, and I hope these snippets will encourage you too.  I haven’t corrected the English or grammar intentionally, so enjoy!

When given the assignment, Where will you go, How much money will you bring, What will you do, What will you learn… there were some very interesting responses…

I will learn about staying alive.

I will need a lot of money.  I will drink beer every day.

I will enjoy the funny land.

I will learn about culture and experiences that I can’t find in the class.

From the travel, I will have been taught about How do I stay Exciting.

I will go to New Zeland.  I would like to stay with nature and meet sheep.

Oversea can make me have grown up and live in the world with myself.

I will need somewhere for my relaxation.  I would like to touch the wave sound.

The weather will be rainy in July but for me no problem.  This is life.

In The New Year…

Chinese New Year is this weekend.  We put together a wishing tree, full of their wishes, and I wanted to let you know… wherever you are in the world, that YOU are a part of these kid’s wishes.  Here are some below:

I wish that everyone in the world have good health and a perfect life.

I wish everybody good and hope they can have fun.

and from me… I wish that everyone can be HAPPY!

Since it is the New Year, What are Your Travel Plans?  Where will you go?  What will you do?  What do you hope to learn?

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The Medicine Man That Lives in a Cave

One day, I was riding on the back of my friend’s motorbike, weaving through the tall green mountains in the south of Thailand.  Unexpectedly, the bike sputtered, slowed, and stopped.  We had run out of gas.  Looking around, there wasn’t a gas station in sight, so my friend pushed the bike down the road as I walked behind him.  The limestone mountains are full of magic, but this day, we were in for a special surprise.

There was a small man living inside the mountain.  He called out to us from the cave and motioned for us to come inside.  I was hesitant at first, having no experience with cave dwellers, the scene was a bit foreboding and comedic at the same time.  This man was dressed only in a sarong, tied tightly around him, and there was smoke coming from the fire inside his cave.  He smiled a toothless grin and happily waved us inside.

The smirk of travel surprise was glued to my face in a kind of “Oh, shit… what is going to happen to me now” sort of way.  I’m walking into the cave, thoroughly amused.  This is the whole reason why I travel.  Our new friend speaks only Thai, and a couple words of English, but manages to pantomime quite well.  He motions for us to sit.  We are trying to explain that we are out of gas, and he just stands, nodding enthusiastically and points to a small table-like area to sit down.  We do as we are told.

I watch as the small old man makes his way over to a kettle, fills it with water, and puts it directly onto the fire.  He smiles and nods.  I secretly love him, and I have no idea who he is. He must be somewhere between 80 and a 200 years old.  He is not even five feet tall, bent over and ambling around the cave barefoot, doing his very best to ensure our comfort.

He sits with us and gives us coffee.  He rolls cigarettes in dried palm leaves and we sit smiling, drinking coffee, and smoking cigarettes.  I am giddy.  Eventually, he sticks out his hand and introduces himself as “Doctor”, which I find funny considering he is nearly naked, mostly toothless, and smoking cigarettes…. but I fully believe him. We tell him our names and sit smiling some more.  I ask him, “You live here?” and point around.  He nods enthusiastically and tells us his wife lives in another town.  Most of the communication is a lot of pointing and waving of the arms.  I’m wishing I had my camera and trying to absorb every detail of the situation because it seems so paranormal.

Next, the doctor, or medicine man, breaks out a bunch of astrological charts and begins to read my palm.  He reads my friend’s, as well, and declares that we are both “Dee Mak Mak”, which in English means “Very, very good”.  I’m happy to hear this because I don’t know what I would do if he said mine was bad.  He goes through the charts and asks us our birthday.  We are a bit confused as to if he wants the date, or the year, but quickly, he is at work , using a giant magnifying glass to see (he doesn’t have glasses).  He moves around ancient looking papers with strange markings and weird pictures.  He cross-references his books, he is deep in thought and research.  I am so wishing I spoke fluent Thai so I could figure out what he knows, because I’m figuring if anyone knows anything, it’s going to be him. We start drinking beer.  After the research is done, he concludes that we are both good, and good things will happen.  Again, I’m relieved.  He is trying to tell me more and motioning dramatically but speaking only in Thai.  The meaning is lost in translation, but I’m OK with not knowing.

I flip through a book of his that has the Chinese characters in it and pictures of animals.  We spend the next while pointing at photos of animals, saying them in Thai and English and imitating the noises and movements they make .  “Chicken, GAI, LUCKLUCKLUCK” and then we act like the animal and fall over laughing like we are five.  It is fantastic.

It is starting to get dark and the cave is getting darker.  We motion towards the motorbike and show him that we are out of gas.  He scurries around his cave gathering supplies in a caveman fashion and then pulls his motorbike up to ours.  He siphons ALL of HIS GAS BY HIS MOUTH into our gas tank.  Somehow, even with a mouthful of diesel, this man is still willing and able to smile at me.  I have tears creeping into my eyes.  I don’t even have a friend or family member I know that would be willing to do such a caring act.  I give him a piece of candy to take away the taste.  He is so excited that he does a little hop.

So now, we are set, have our fortunes read, animals memorized, and gas in the tank.  We try to give him money which he absolutely refuses.  We try to give him beer.  He refuses this too.  He is shaking his hands, and waving them around.

“Mai Chai, Mai Chai.  Choke Dee.  Choke Dee.”

Which I understand.  He is telling us No, No, it is good luck.  Good luck.  I remember that here, in Thailand, the Buddhist teachings are such that if you come across someone in need, you help them for nothing in return.  To be of service when someone is in need is good luck, because it means that when you need help, it will be there for you, too. We hugged him and went on our way, speechless from the whole experience.  I have yet to experience any act of giving that was so completely kind and generous from someone that expected absolutely nothing in return.  Here is a man that has nothing, and is giving us everything he has, happily.  I was completely blown away.

The strange part about this story is that I pass this cave on a regular basis.  I have never seen this man since the experience. The cave that had all of his belongings, the fire, and the tables is empty.  It is completely vacant, and devoid of any traces of him with the exception of some black on the ceiling, marking the memory of fire.  I have no idea where my small toothless medicine man has gone, but I will forever remember the experience of giving unconditionally.

My point of sharing this story with you is to get you to think about how you give.  I have never experienced giving like I have here.

Can you give without expecting something in return?

Are you able to give unconditionally?

Have you experienced unconditional giving?

Where can you give more in your life?

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Machine Guns, Border Runs, and Sexual Predators

One very real part about living in other countries is the fact that you Never Really Live There.  You can be having the time of your life, seeing the sights, or even be renting an apartment…. But eventually the sobering thought of your visa expiring will inevitably come up.

Border runs are my least favorite part of living abroad.

Why?

Border runs can be dangerous, expensive, exhausting, and no matter how settled you feel in your country of choice, the fact is that once you leave the country, you might not be coming back.

I’ve heard countless stories of expats that just went for a quick run and were randomly denied re-entrance back into the country where they reside.  On other border runs I’ve been lost, separated from my friends and weaving on a motorbike through rows of men clad with military gear and machine guns.

Having just returned from a trip to Penang, Malaysia, I want to share my near-rape/ death threat/ sexual predator experience with you.

While I consider myself a savvy traveler, I found myself completely tricked by a con-artist predator under the guise of someone who wanted to help me.  My hope for you is that if you are in a similar situation that you find yourself more prepared and on guard should such a situation happen to you. So with that…. The Worst Three Days of My Life So Far…

I arrived in Malaysia about four hours after I was supposed to. My minivan driver was quick to drop off every passenger at their front doorstep but me.  He tried to drop me off at the mall and told me to get out and get a taxi.  After twelve hours of being packed into an uncomfortable seat and hauled across countries, I wasn’t having it.  I sorted out where the guesthouse was, and made him take me there.   Huffing and puffing madly on a cigarette, he drove the extra two blocks, being sure to give me dirty looks as often as possible.  I didn’t see the guesthouse, and sick of his shit attitude, just told him to pull off.  Luckily, I looked up and had arrived just where I needed to be.  Not a bad first start!

After going into the office, I realized my luck had changed. There was no way the visa run could happen, and even worse, we were coming up on a weekend where the office would be closed.  I was going to have to pay nearly twice as much as anticipated.  Crap!  I went down to the ATM to get out cash and it didn’t work.  Fuck.  I went online to my bank to call to verify the transactions in Malaysia and the internet crashed.  I was told it would be down for several hours.  I couldn’t win.

General Overview of my current situation:

• I couldn’t get my visa.
• I had no money, or not enough to get what I needed.
• I had no access to money.
• I had no internet.
• My Thailand phone didn’t work in Malaysia.

I knew I had enough money to spend the night and pay for the visa with the extra fees.  I also had some money towards getting back… but not all of it.  I couldn’t even think straight.  I had a very sleepless night.

The next day I decided to just go ahead and pay for the visa and see what happened.  I had been able to get online and through a combination of IM-ing my sister  while she accessed my bank account online, I chatted with my bank rep via Skype.  Thank god for technology.  My sister was able to type over all my account info for access (Wells Fargo online was not accessible from Malaysia) and I was able to get just a bit more money transferred and sorted.  It might be enough, but barely.

Meeting a Sexual Predator

I decided to go for a walk to clear my head.  I had to wait until four to get my visa back and then I could just hop a bus and pray to god I had enough dough to get back.  This is where I casually bumped into my new Sexual Predator friend, which I will kindly refer to as ‘SP’ henceforth. SP was with his friend and offered a warm smile that was refreshing after all the shit I’d been through.  He casually asked where I was from and it wasn’t long until I had unloaded my long list of unfortunate events that had transpired in the short time I’d been there.  He walked back to a lobby where I thought he was staying and offered to buy me a beer.  The next thing I know, I was laughing again and everything was seemingly OK.  His friend was nice, and I was feeling better just being around other people.

SP was great at saying just the right things and making me feel completely safe.  He warned me about border towns, told me to be on guard and assured me I was safe with them, but to be on the lookout for other people. His paternal attitude was nice, because I was scared, being a female on my own in a border town.  He was overwhelmingly helpful and trustworthy, which in retrospect absolutely pisses me off.  I now know that it was all just a part of the bigger game:  To win my trust and lead me into more and more vulnerable situations.

So that is how the day progressed…winning my trust, saying the right things, seemingly being kind and parental and then leading me away from other people. Also, as the day went on, it went from a group of us to just me and SP.  All of this was planned.  He was just so good at it that I couldn’t see it.  He acted as that enthusiastic tour guide… wanted to show me the beach “around the corner” and just up the road…etc.  It was all good and fun until I needed to get my stuff back (he had put it at his place where it “was safe” because people break into cars at the beach.  He didn’t invite me in initially, because he was a ‘gentleman, and would never do that’.  But was insistent that I come up to get it back.

Getting Locked Up and Threatened

When the plan was to go up together and get my stuff, I refused.  The last thing I wanted was to be alone in some strange man’s house.  This is where the serious manipulation kicked in.  “What, after all I’ve done for you, you don’t trust me?  Are you racist?  What, do you think I’m the type of person that would hurt you?  All I’ve done all day is be nice to you!” This went on and on until I felt like a complete asshole.  But, my gut instinct not to go was right.  The next thing I know, I’m padlocked INSIDE SP’s house and he’s pinning me down and forcefully kissing me.  I’m choking.  I’m crying.  I’m freaking out.  I don’t know what to do.  He backs off and plays Good Cop / Bad Cop and is confusing the hell out of me.

His behaviors are strange and unpredictable.  He is telling me I’m racist and unappreciative. He’s telling me he can rape me if he wants to, or he could have earlier that day.  He is backing off, and then getting scary.  I don’t know what to do.  I need my stuff in his room but I’m sure as hell not going in there!

Somehow, eventually, I got out of there.  It’s unclear to me exactly what I said or did to get him to stop and let me go.  I told him I wanted to go to spend more time with him, but not there.  Let’s go to that restaurant/ bar on the beach.  Finally, he agreed.

As soon as I was there, I spotted two English couples by the bar.  I needed to talk to them… but HOW?

I was trying to act entertained by SP but I hated him.  After being pinned down, pushed, and nearly dragged into his room, I wanted him gone.  I needed to get away. The problem was, he also knew the hotel I was staying.  After I had gotten my passport, I found out that all the buses were full for that day (or so I was told, but this could have been part of his plan).  I had to stay another night.  He had graciously offered to cover my ticket and room and I was happy (at the time) to return the favor when him and his friend came to visit.  But that was all part of the trick, and how he knew where I was staying.  So technically, even if I got away, he would just go to where I was staying.  I told SP I’d take a taxi back.  There was NO WAY I was getting back in to a car with him. He refused and was getting shitty again.  As we got up, I approached the couples at the bar.  I leaned in and told one of the ladies I was in an unsafe situation and I didn’t want to get in the car with this man.  They invited me to join them.

This is where I found out about SP.  One of the guys explained to me that this is what he does, and how he operates.  They always see him with girls that came by themselves for border runs.  Everything he had done had been staged since the first casual run in.  All of the seemingly spontaneous events were planned to the detail and the dialog was tried, practiced, and perfected.

About the time I’m realizing all of this, the situation at the bar is beginning to escalate.  SP is realizing he’s been found out and is not going down without a fight.  The nice people who had invited me to join them are now being harassed.  The guys had tried to let him know I’d be fine with them and the ladies said they’d invited me back for coffee.  But, he wanted to fight.

Running Away

Going into the details of my drawn out escape seems a bit tedious, but the highlights were this:  Nice couple #1 were almost in a full on bar fight with SP.  He had a bottle ready to break over SP’s head after being threatened to his limit.  We were all told he was in the Liberian Military and he was going to hunt us down, find us, and cut us up into little pieces.  On my third attempt to leave (SP kept coming back), he chased after me and grabbed my arm so hard that I shrieked in terror.  That must’ve done the trick because he finally released me for good.  I escaped with nice couple #2, found the car, and ducked down when we drove past him.  We all found ourselves adrenaline pumping and driving aimlessly, not sure what to do.

We decided it wasn’t safe for me to stay at the hotel, because it was just a matter of time until he got there.  We drove to the hotel, and I was shaking walking back to my room.  The light was on inside and I was terrified he was going to jump out of somewhere with a knife. I opened the door slowly and rushed in to grab my bag.  I couldn’t get out of there fast enough.

By this point, it was about 2am.  The hotel was about 30 minutes from their house and I had to be back at the hotel to be on the 5 am minivan leaving in just a few hours.

Making Better Choices

Nice couple #2 made up their spare room, arranged a taxi for me, and my faith in humanity was restored.  I don’t think I slept more than twenty minutes.  I spent the time reviewing the whole situation in my head.  What had he said?  How did I get into this mess?  But even after going through the whole thing in my head, I realized something VERY strange:

Even if I had the same situations to do ALL OVER AGAIN, I would have made the same choices.

Let me clarify….It wasn’t because I wanted this to happen again.  It was because every choice I made at the time was The Best Choice of the options that existed.  What he had done so well was to leave me the element of choice that lead me straight into the trap. This is how I was suckered and this is how he makes it all happen.  This is also why I felt so stupid when the whole thing was over.

Before I knew it, my 4 am alarm was going off.  I had enough time for a quick shower and quietly packed my things.  I went upstairs to wait for the cab.  I waited, and waited and it never came.  My God, is this EVER GOING TO END?!? I didn’t want to wake up the nicest couple ever; I had already gotten them into enough drama already.  Eventually, at 4:30 there was a stirring upstairs.  She came down and realized I was going to need a ride back to the hotel.

We all loaded up again, my heart pumping, realizing that I’m headed back into the war zone.  I tried to shake off the awful comments that kept popping into my head about what he was going to do to me.

It was dark, and we were driving fast, whipping around the turns and blasting through red lights.  He let out a chuckle and let me know that red lights in Malaysia are optional, and more of a suggestion than anything.  We all laughed.  God bless them.

My heart beat fast as we approached the hotel, but luckily there was a minivan loading up with people.  I thanked Nice Couple #2 profusely and nothing short of ran to get in the van.  About five minutes later, the driver let me know I was in the wrong van.  I was not on his list.  My heart sank.  I had to get out and wait in the scary, dark, open to alleyway lobby of doom. I jumped at every shadow for the next bit of forever.  Finally, a van arrived, but the driver told me not to get in.  I felt like I was in some kind of nightmare that would never end.  When it circled around again I hardly even believed it.  I held my breath until he told me to get in, and spent the next 100 kilometers  sitting rigidly awaiting the border.  Finally, we passed out of Malaysia and into the familiar ground of Thailand.

At the end of the day, I count my blessings that I’m still alive. In the future, and what I wanted to pass along to you are the following lessons.  I believe that everything happens for a reason, so maybe I’ve gone through all this to share my story so that the same thing will never happen to you.

Lessons From Border Runs

1. Bring more than enough dough.  I’ve been told not to in case you’re robbed, but after this experience, I’ll bring the cash every time.
2. Assume your ATM won’t work.  Many banks block other countries, even if they are just across the border.
3. Pretend the internet doesn’t exist.  It may be less likely for you to find a café or get access in another town you are unfamiliar with.
4. Don’t go alone.  If you have to, follow the above steps and pay more to stay somewhere that isn’t a backpacker hang out.  That’s where the SP’s prey.
5. Be very weary of anyone who approaches you.  Even if it seems by chance, it may not be.  You are not there to make friends, get your stamp and go home.
6. If you do find yourself in a situation, don’t be afraid to ask others for help.  If you are lucky, you may find an older couple, someone of the same sex, and hopefully someone local.  Asking for help is the only reason I’m alive today.

My hope is that you never have to experience anything this awful.  But, as it is a scary world out there, and there are people that want to take advantage of you, it is also comforting to know that there are great people who can come to your rescue when the shit hits the fan.

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Four of Your Biggest Travel Worries & How to Handle Them

Today I am going to share a bit about worry.  From time to time I find myself caught up in the negative cycle of worrying about things, trying to figure out my whole life, and wondering if I am going to be alright in the future.  Worry is a strange machine.  It stops for awhile, then starts back up again, full blast until sometimes it begins to take over completely.

Before I began my latest adventure of moving my business online and heading off to Thailand, I had many worries.  Worries tend to begin as What If’s and are typically future based.

Here were some of my BIG WHAT IF’s:

1. What if I get hurt?
2. What if I run out of money?
3. What if I can’t find a place to live?
4. What if my clients quit and I have no income?

I think most people have these concerns on an ongoing basis.  I think most people worry about the future, and worry about money.  We all seemingly have more than enough TODAY; but what if something happens, and it all goes away tomorrow?

My main purpose for writing this post today is because I think I have gotten to the point where I have had ALL of my worries happen. I’m going to tell a quick tale about each and the lessons that came from them.  My hope is that this post prompts you to look at your biggest worries, and face them head on. If we can learn how to do this on a regular basis, we become less afraid of life.  We can move confidently into the future with less stress and more freedom.

Worry #1:  What if I Get Hurt?

I love motorcycles.  When I was 19, I decided to buy a motorcycle and took a course on how to avoid accidents and handle emergencies.  It was fantastic.  We drove little Suzuki 300 cc motorcycles and whizzed around a parking lot jumping over logs and doing emergency stops.  I loved it!  When I got my bike, it was the real deal.  I loved going for rides, clearing my head, and taking to the long curvy country roads in Indiana.

One time, on my way back home from the lake, my friend and I had a giant Yukon pull out ten feet in front of us.  The girl that was driving obviously didn’t see us but when she did she stopped abruptly and blocked both lanes of traffic.  I had no way of going around her and ten feet of room to stop.  Luckily, because of my class, I knew how to do an emergency stop.  I locked up the breaks, came to a somewhat controlled slide and laid the motorcycle down on its side with very little damage to myself or my passenger.  My heart was pumping.  I somehow picked up my bike (weighing several hundred pounds) and walked it to the side of the road before going over and yelling at the driver.  Then I started to cry.

I’ve been very weary of bikes since then.  I got rid of my bike.  I rarely go on other people’s, not so much because I don’t trust the driver, but the other drivers on the road that just aren’t paying attention.   So, it is safe to say that being in a motorbike accident is one of my biggest fears in the world.

In April, I went flying off the back of my friend’s motorbike. We were rounding a sharp corner and hit sand.  The bike kept going, but we didn’t.  I flew, superman style across the rough rocky and sandy pavement wearing only a very small sundress.  I remember thinking to myself as I was sliding, “Man, this is really going to hurt!”

Immediately, I jumped up, got out of the road and assessed my damage.  I was bleeding everywhere. Most of my skin had black on it and I could see chunks of pavement under my skin.  I was very upset with my friend, mostly because I knew he took the turn too fast.  I had told him another time to slow down and felt like it was really inconsiderate to put me at risk like that.  But somehow I was able to contain myself and keep quiet until I could speak calmly.

Eventually, I broke the silence with, “What did you learn from this?”

“Well, many things.  But mostly, to slow down.  I try to do everything too fast.”

I responded, “Good.  Well, I’m willing to take these scars for your lesson.”

Then I started to cry.

The thing is, I was mostly upset because it had been such a big fear for so long, and now it was happening.  I had wanted to do my best to isolate myself from ever having to go through that kind of pain ever again.  The memory of the last accident was so powerful that I never wanted to have to deal with it, ever… but here is something strange:  I was hurt far worse this time than the previous accident.  The strange thing was, it wasn’t actually That Bad. Yes, it took weeks to heal up and I have scars on my knees, elbows and hand that will be there for life, but it wasn’t That Bad.  It wasn’t as bad as I had imagined it to be for All These Years.  I had built up the fear and the worry to be So Incredibly Huge and the reality was nothing in comparison.

Worry #2:  What if I Run Out of Money?

Ok, so this has happened, too. An emergency border run comes up, a client payment comes through late, an unexpected whatever comes up, and there I’ve been…worrying about money.  What is so strange about money is how much time we spend worrying about it. I think we spend more time worrying about money than anything else.  But in my experience, I have found that something always happens, and everything works out fine.

I was down to No Money. I was sitting in my bungalow, feeling sorry for myself and budgeting my next few meals before my client payments were going to come through.  I remembered that I had carried another wallet when I was living in Bangkok and decided to rummage through my backpack to see if that wallet had any extra change in it.  When I opened it up, there was $5,000 baht just sitting there staring back at me!! This is the equivalent of about $150 US dollars!!  In just one instant, my mood changed, my worry went away, and I knew somebody, somewhere was looking out for me.

Worry #3:  What if I Can’t Find a Place to Live?

I think if we are honest here, when you travel, living situations just sort of happen.  People pop up, a tour bus drops you off somewhere, you meet a new friend, and the next thing you know…your world has changed.  You are living somewhere else.  Just like that.  It’s not like at home, when you have to pack boxes, hire a moving company, and get a U-haul for all your crap.  I’ve changed my plans on a dime, just because something seemed more fun.

I came up to Bangkok for a two week vacation, and have now been here almost two months.  Why?  I started having fun. I have friends here and I’ve bounced around having a great time and now a group of us are looking for a place to live together.  When you are open to new living experiences, and having fun, great things happen.  Right now, I am sitting in an internet café with all my stuff, waiting out the rain.  My friend has gone back to the US and I’m cat sitting for them in the most amazing apartment I have ever seen.

When I was living in Australia, I met a fun group of kids I palled up with and lived with them for awhile.  I was just out of school, doing my teaching practicum and started crashing on their couch.  I became known as “The Poor American that sleeps on our brown couch.”  It was hysterical.  I’ve slept on boats, crashed on couches or floors, camped out, and one time my friend and I got lost, we lit a garbage bin on fire and slept on a pile of mulch. The reality of this is that it is all very funny and each time, I have been more than fine, I’ve been living an incredible life full of fun and adventures.  When it comes down to it, does it really even matter where you sleep?

Worry #4:  What if My Clients Quit, and I Have No Income?

As a business owner, one major fear is having your clients quit.  We ‘future worry’ about ending up in a cardboard box somewhere and not being able to eat.  I know this is silly, but I do this all the time!  I wonder what might happen if everything goes away and I am left with no income.  So here is the thing:  I have lost clients with the economy.  I have had people I love go away because their personal financial situations.  But, when I’ve had this happen, other opportunities have come up!

One of my goals has always been to teach college students.  I applied for teaching opportunities at home, only to find out that they had more than enough professors.  However, a few weeks ago I was expressing my desire to teach and two days later, I was offered a position to teach at a local management university!  I am having so much fun and learning how to teach internationally.  It only takes a few hours out of my week and I have more than enough time to run my business and have a full social life.

If you are reading this, my guess is that you are entrepreneurial and clever. When I ran out of money in Australia, I got creative.  I washed cars at a car lot.  I worked at a historical garden.  I even painted somebody’s boat at a boat yard.  It hasn’t come to that on this trip, but looking back, I had a lot of ingenuity at twenty-two.  I’m sure if it came down to it, I would have more now, because I have more talents and skills than ever before…And So Do You!  So don’t think of all of the What If’s that are holding you back, you are too smart to starve to death.  And, gosh darn it, people like you!

The Moral of My Story:

The moral of my story is this:  at this point, I have had ALL OF MY WORST FEARS AND WORRIES COME TRUE.  But, here is the thing:  I’m just fine.  I’m more than just fine, I’m great.  I’m having the time of my life!!  My world of possibilities has expanded because I no longer fear my worst concerns.  I now know, without a doubt that even the worst possible thing is really not that bad at all.  So get out there and stop worrying about what might happen.  You’ll be amazed by what does!!

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Finding Yourself in Remote Locations

There are moments in life where we get a glimpse of our true nature.  We find a piece or a reminder of what and who we are.  We see moments of time slow and we feel the remembering set in.  We remember – if only for a moment why we came; we know innately that we have a true purpose and feel the very depth of our being.

Those moments have been reaching me, here in Thailand.  I have really begun to understand more about myself and the significance of finding myself in remote locations.  The process thus far has been challenging, emotional and ridiculous amounts of fun all blended together to make for an interesting and life filled journey.

While I want to be upbeat and inspirational about all of the wonders of travel, it would be unfair of me to leave out all of the challenges, fears, and shifts in mindset that I have had to overcome in order to make this journey possible. The point of sharing the following information with you is to highlight some of the darkness that I have had to go through in order to see the light.

Giving Up Everything & Facing My Fears

In order to go on this journey of self discovery, I had to give up many things. Initially, I focused on downsizing my personal belongings, but mostly, I had to give up my fears.  I remember before I left, I did not want to go even though with it, even though this is what I have always wanted to do.   In fact, some part of me was resisting the whole trip and carrying out all of the tasks I had to complete before I left became incredibly challenging.  In short, it came down to facing my fears and moving through pain of letting go.

My hardest challenge of leaving was the pain of leaving my dogs behind.  I have never in my entire life experienced something quite so difficult.  I found them a wonderful new home and know it was meant to be, but I still get extremely emotional every time I think of them and miss the comfort of having them around.

The second most difficult challenge was the uncertainty of what would become of me, and the fear of the unknown.  There are many things that can happen when you travel and once I moved past the initial exhilaration of buying a one way ticket to Bangkok, the firing line of questions began to kick in. 

What if I run out of money?

What if my clients all quit?

What if I get hurt?

What if I don’t get my visa?

What if, what if, what if…

I had the fear of knowing that I had to go far deeper into trust and faith than I have ever gone before.

Beyond Confusion

There are many moments of confusion trying to understand why I’ve been called on this journey that is so challenging.  But at the core of every challenge, I know that this is the right decision, and that I am experiencing remarkable amounts of personal growth. There are moments that I wonder why this is all happening.  And then I remember that I had to abandon logic in order to make this happen in the first place.  There are days that I wish were more meaningful to justify the fact that I left everything behind.  And then there are moments that take my breath away, and more and more I am experiencing a life filled with serendipity and joy.

Saving Your Own Life

Many books talk about saving your money, or saving your time; but more than anything, I now understand the significance saving your own life. There are dreams that only you have.  These dreams and aspirations are what keep you motivated, happy and inspired to learn more.  Often, we get sucked into the reasons (or excuses) of why to stay in our current situation, and talk ourselves out of our dreams.

There are so many reasons why I could have talked myself out of taking this journey.

1. I do not have a savings account.
2. I do not have the amount of clients I should have to take such an adventure.
3. I have debt I still need to pay off.
4. I am running a business.
5. I have family, and friends, and loved ones that I had to leave behind.

The truth is I was at a crossroads in my life.  I started to get a glimpse of living a life that was not my own.  Something needed to change.  I have been trying my entire existence to be true to myself and to fully understand what it is that I wanted to do and move boldly towards it.  I believe that everything happens for a reason – and so when I woke up knowing that I had to go, some part of me understood on another level that it wasn’t so much for myself, as it was to show everyone else that it was possible.

Embarking on the journey of a lifetime is a Big Step.  And part of being real about what you are about to face when you go after your dreams is to anticipate that you will go through major emotional ups and downs.  The good times are more than fantastic, life changing, even.  But in the down times, it is all too easy to question your existence and wonder if everything you are doing is in vain.

Handling Emotional Ups and Downs

The canyons that my emotions now swing between have grown in infinite miles.  My understanding of life and living – while it should feel like it is increasing, feels more childlike and adolescent.  Rather than feeling more attached to my surroundings, I feel less, and while it has created a wonderful feeling of freedom, sometimes there is a general feeling of displacement.  I suddenly belong nowhere and everywhere at the same time. Being location independent really does mean that you Don’t Have To Be Anywhere.

At first, this came to me as a slight panic.  Where is my Home?  Will I ever really Live Anywhere again?  How will I have Relationships?  Will I ever have a real Community?

Then, suddenly, it hit me:  The WORLD is my Home.  I now have the luxury of Going Where I’m Needed, and staying until it feels complete.  I am learning to find a balance between permanence and impermanence.  I am allowing myself to care without so much attachment and to rely more on my feelings and intuition.

Doubting Yourself and Your Career

I have talked to many business owners that go through a crucial period of self-doubt and questioning their career.  Most of the time when doubt kicks in, it is an opportunity to look closer at what your current situation is.  Maybe you like the field you are in but want to change the direction or focus.  Maybe you would be happier focusing on one particular part of your business and outsourcing or redefining your primary functions of your work.

Since I have been abroad, I have been able to spend the bulk of my time doing what I love.  I enjoy teaching, writing, building and sharing information, and building communities.  This took time, and in the process I felt rather lost and found myself swirling around questions and answers trying to redefine who I was and what was important to me.  I think doubt is a natural part of your growth process.  If you find yourself confused by where you are in your career, try spending some quiet time doing this exercise:

• What do I Love to do most in my career?
• When do I feel most accomplished with my work?
• What would I spend more time on if I had extra time in my day?
• How can I re-frame my business so I can spend more time in areas that I love?

Keep in mind that as your life changes, your answers will change.  Try to focus your days to encompass more of the activities that you love so that you can come out on the other side feeling empowered.

Coming Out on the Other Side

Lately, I have been struck by awe and wonder of how inspiring it is to
live a life directed by finding myself everywhere; especially while traveling
half way around the world.

I have been helped by strangers.  Befriended by many.  Taken to wonderful new places.  And all the while learning to remember what I enjoy and love, and attempt to rebuilding a life that embodies many more moments of joy and bliss.  I have been learning the art of nonattachment and trying to be free of expectations.  I am learning to refocus my time and energy on the parts of life that have inherent meaning.

I think it is a part of human nature to want to improve things, including ourselves.  Part of the process of coming out on the other side is accepting the idea that we will continually change and we can adapt our lives to fit our new lifestyles.  Keep in mind that as your circumstances change, your wants and needs will need to adapt.  Part of finding yourself is mastering the ability to let go of who you used to be and become exactly who you are meant to be right now.

I wonder how much more simple our lives would be if we were to embrace the idea of change.  I wonder if the moments of joy increase to the proportion that we allow ourselves to surrender to the process.

I wonder.

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Put Your Crap in a Hefty Bag & Buy a Plane Ticket, Already!

There is a lot of hype about heading out into the world and doing your own thing.  So why aren’t more people doing it?  Excuses!  I’ve seen everything from having to find the right designer backpack to people thinking they need some all-in-one tech gadgety thing that will somehow save you from any woes.  Here is the truth:  put your crap in a bag and go.  (If you don’t, you lose!)

Loser Excuse #1:  I don’t have the right gear…

I have the same broke-down backpack that I bought when I was nineteen. It’s been all over the world and continues to wrack up miles.  It’s been all over the US, Australia, Europe, Thailand and has many more adventures to come.  It doesn’t matter if you have a new bag, grab your nearest Hefty garbage bag, put your stuff in it and go. You are just delaying your fun by deliberating about stuff you think you must have in order to go and live your life!!

Loser Excuse #2:  I don’t have the right technology…

Waiting around to save up for the latest and greatest MacBook?  Don’t!  Just use what you’ve got and hit the road.  My laptop is about the size of a Cadillac.  It’s heavy, and sturdy, and gets the job done. I’ve had it for six years and it is still kickin’.  Don’t let technology keep you on your couch making excuses. There’s more electrical tape on my charger cord than anyone’s at home, but I’m seeing the world.  Wrap it up, pack it up and go.  Spend the money on a one way ticket instead of a fancy new notebook.

Loser Excuse #3: I don’t have any money…

Do you have a car?  Do you have some furniture?  Sell it.  Whamo!  You have money!  For some reason, everyone assumes I’m rich.  Newsflash:  I’m NOT!  I’m rich in the activities that I do with my life, and I am wealthy with friendships and opportunities. I did what it took to get out here, namely, working my butt off and selling everything I owned.  Is this easy?  No.  But was it worth it…Hell Yes!  I didn’t have a ton of clients, I had no savings, and I didn’t know where I was going to live.  I just did it, And So Can You!  You are a clever person, once you get somewhere, you can figure it out !

Loser Excuse #4:  I can’t leave because of my _______

Fill in the blank with any obligation.  Other people will never want you to go.  But your life isn’t up to other people!  You have to be willing to go and do your thing.  This means leaving behind things like family, loved ones, and even pets. I know this is hard, because I did it.  I had the boyfriend, the dogs, the white picket fence & the SUV.  Now I have a backpack and a life.

One of my readers, Betsy, recently posted this:

“When we started a life of “voluntary simplicity” 3 years ago it was to reclaim some space in our lives (literally and figuratively). Our social life expanded to fill the void from material things, and that is a more than fair trade.”

Now her and her husband are planning an around the world trip.  I wrote her back, congratulating her for making the move to simplicity and filling up her life.

I’d rather see You filling up your Life instead of your Garage!

Soooooooooooooooo…

1. Forget about the gear, and get Hefty.

2. Take your heavy-ass laptop around the world.  It’s good for building arm strength & looking vintage.

3. Sell your crap, buy a plane ticket.  Be clever and your world will never be destroyed.

4. Can the excuses and get a life.

Thoughts?  Leave a comment!

(more…)

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Throw Away Your Itinerary

I nourish active rebellion  -Walt Whitman

Buy a One Way Ticket

I can’t explain the exhilaration of buying a one way overseas ticket. It is similar to having a wonderful secret.  Or winning a lottery that only you know about.  These days, I only buy one way tickets. Even if I know I might come back, I don’t buy the return.  It is just more fun not to.  At this point, I am happy to go somewhere and not make any plans for what I will do or how long I will stay.  In fact, the moment I do make plans, they fall through and I have to change things anyway.

Stop Making Plans

I am a planner by nature.  In fact, a major element of what I teach is goal setting and getting people to focus on.  However, after I arrived on this journey, I have learned it is good to have a focused path, but not to get attached to anything (including plans).  By not having expectations and limitations, it frees me to make more important decisions.  For example, if I am experiencing something that requires my attention, I can continue to spend focused time and energy on the situation.  This could be a working project, a friend in need, or just taking in a beautiful moment.  By going with the flow and seeing what happens, my life is freed.

Light Your Guidebook on Fire

My first day here I woke up early.  I was waiting for my friend Cody to wake up and eagerly paced the apartment, ready to conquer the city.  Bored, I picked up the Bangkok guidebook and thumbed through familiar sites that I had seen from my previous trip.  My friend must have felt my enthusiasm, looking at me with one eye, I was like a puppy ready to go out.  It didn’t really hit me until we had this discussion:

Me:  Do you want to go do something today?

Him:  Like what?

Me:  Well, we are in Bangkok…. We should go and Do Something.

Him:  Brooke, you live here now.  You don’t have to DO Anything.

The realization hit me like a ton of bricks. ..

I didn’t need to rely on a guidebook to dictate my life.  Life was just going to happen and I was going to forever be a part of where I lived.

Since I’ve been here, some of the best travel moments I have ever experienced have been last minute, haphazard, thrown together adventures.  Each and every place I go, I stumble into a place to stay, serendipitously meet all the right people, and find my way to the next wonderful moment… all without a guidebook.

The Serendipity of Travel

When you learn to rely upon having no plans as a lifestyle, you get better at reading signs and having serendipitous moments. You will find that you meet people at the right times and they have information to share with you, or likewise, you have information to share with them.  I have experienced that if you lean to count on your intuition and instincts that you will experience more and more well timed moments of connection and have the feeling that you have arrived just in time…

Showing Up Just In Time

Traveling abroad can be an overwhelming experience.  Trying to sort out differences in language, arriving and staying at new destinations, dealing with passport and visa issues, and staying on top of running a business is trying, at best.  But if you can take time each morning to sit quietly and determine what you need to do, your plans will be assisted. Taxi rides that seemingly take too long will deliver you into meeting up randomly with a friend.  Going into a new restaurant you feel drawn to may give you the opportunity to make new friends and acquaintances.  You will begin to learn to trust your instincts and realize that you are a small part of a greater plan that is at work.

I cannot even count the numerous experiences I have had where I was in a situation that seemed to be stressful or unfavorable and inevitably it delivered me Just In Time to a situation where someone needed my help.

Try to look outside of your situation to see how you can be available for others. If you are relaxed, you will be more approachable and be able to possibly help many people in your path.  Just now, I am at the Bangkok immigration office.  My day has been challenging and stressful, full of paperwork, confusing lines and loads of forms.  I went outside to get a break from the noise and met two gals that looked more bewildered than me.  I was able to tell them where to go, what to do, and watch their bags while they were sorting out their documentation.  In a matter of minutes, they arrived back with big smiles on their faces.  Everything was sorted and they were on their way.  My mild inconvenience of getting here ‘late’ was immediately erased and I knew that I had arrived Just In Time to help them.

We’re Done Here

When we can let go of timelines, expectations, and itineraries, we free ourselves to be more available for others.  We will, in turn, find ourselves moving freely from one serendipitous moment to another.  We can arrive just in time to help out, find out new information, or share insights with people that are in need of our knowledge.  Learn to let yourself be carried away in the moments that surround you.  Interact with your surroundings and live by the theory that you are meant to have a positive impact on all of the people you encounter.  Look for ways to connect with others, and your life will be full of magic.  So when you find yourself stressed out by an agenda, remember this:  Break the rules and throw away your itinerary!  Instead, learn to live a life of magic.

“I had to run like a fugitive, just to save the life I live.”- Iron Lion Zion, Bob Marley

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Traveling Solo, Going it Alone

 

Sometimes, when you really want something in life, you have to go it alone. Traveling alone can be an overwhelming and scary adventure, especially if you are a female. With all of my travels in my life I have had somewhat of an itinerary, except now. This makes for an interesting scenario. First, I don’t know where I’m going, and then, I don’t know how long I will stay. While this is exciting and fun, it can feel like a bit of an emotional rollercoaster at times, too! It also makes for some strange conversations. People don’t understand what I’m doing and I can’t tell them where I’m going. Hmmm. ‘We’ll just leave that girl alone!’

However, being alone is a very real part of life. Most of us avoid it like the plague because it means that we will have to feel uncomfortable, or scrutinized by others wondering why we are by ourselves. This becomes even more the truth when you don’t know the language others are speaking (so they must be talking about you). These were my initial worries going out to my mystery destination all alone. And, almost three weeks later, I am happy to say I am much more comfortable with my aloneness.

So far, I have come up with these tips for those traveling solo…

Make friends with the locals

Most of the people that live here are shop owners and run bungalows. The good news for me is that I know they will be there every day. Sometimes just seeing a familiar face is enough to get you out of a ‘travel funk’, and into higher spirits. My favorite friend here is Ploy, she runs the bungalow where I live and each day she teaches me a new word in Thai.

Take the time you need for introspection

It has been difficult for me to stop myself from running out and making friends with the whole town right away. I am inherently a “Chatty Kathy” and it is hard for me to be quiet, and even harder for me to sit still (school was a nightmare). When I arrived here I promptly got an eye infection and a cold. It was as if the Universe was telling me: stay put! Reluctantly I listened and spent the next several days just hanging out at the bungalow or going to the beach by myself. When you are quiet and no one else is talking to you, it is a great way to observe all of the chatting that is still going on in your head. I was amazed that I was still talking for weeks even though no one else could hear. The head voice hasn’t completely halted, but it has at least gotten off of the RedBull!

Find your natural rhythm

I was also able to get into a natural rhythm with myself. Not having to be anywhere on anyone else’s terms, I was able to really see what my patterns were and make up a new schedule that fit my needs. I now wake up and do Thai Chi and Chi Kung, read, and then go out for the day. I come back around five, nap and then go to dinner. I usually spend my evenings reading, writing or going to an internet café. I have found that this is a more productive use of my time and gives me the most enjoyment throughout the week.

Learn the language

One of my new favorite pastimes is learning how to speak in Thai. Because the language is tonal, I can work on learning the phonetics at night and then correct my tones during the day. I practice every chance I get. When someone tells me how much something is in English, I respond with how I think it might be said in Thai. This gives me the opportunity to hear it again with the correct tone. Then, I do the same thing with getting my change, or ordering my food. Everyone I have tried this with has been excited that I was trying to learn their language… and I can spend the bulk of my day interacting with the locals and taking in their culture.

People watching

…has become my new reality show. I now pick out chairs in restaurants that will give me the best view of the street. I watch bustling vendors, young couples on motorbikes, and farong (tourists) shuffling about with their sunburns. At most points in time there are several different languages going on all around me. I try to figure out where people are from: France, Germany, Sweden, Switzerland.

Watching the Thai people interact has taught me more about their culture than any tour book could ever tell. If you are observant, you can pick up on what is going on in most situations. I really appreciate the Thai culture and their ability to be Mai Pen Rai or accepting and unbothered by life’s dramas.

Get a great book

Find a bookstore and get into a book. Having a fun read is essential when trying to relax and go with the flow. This can also be a great crutch to have with you as you go out for meals by yourself.

Connect with other travelers online

There are other cool people planning trips in your area. www.couchsurfing.com is a great tool for meeting others and coordinating travel with others. Go on, if you haven’t already, and create a profile for when and where you are travelling. This site is great because in your duller moments (i.e. when you are not travelling) you can host other travelers and invite them to meet up with or stay with you. Several of the wonderful new friends I’ve met here have been through www.facebook.com. Because I had communicated on there where I was and my latest updates, other friends of mine connected me with folks that either lived there or were passing through. This ‘friend of a friend’ acquaintance can make you feel much closer to home and help you to build your new network of friends.

Send mail

Send postcards. Sending mail back home can make you feel more connected. Sharing your experiences can motivate friends and family and make them feel like they are a part of your journey.

Spend time emailing friends and family and letting them know how and why you appreciate them. Often times when we are home, we fail to realize the full depth and appreciation we have for others in our lives. Maybe now is the time to reach out and let people know how special they are to you.

Go out on your own

Bars? I put a question mark after this one because it could go either way. After arriving in a new town, I spent the first week quite sick. I finally pulled myself together, more out of boredom than recovery and walked down to a local Irish pub. Feigning interest in the football game on TV, I was joined by a nice couple at the bar. Shortly thereafter we were talking about US politics (a subject I feel woefully uninterested and undereducated to represent) with a gentleman from Sweden and his new Thai girlfriend. About thirty minutes into our dialog he is up and starts walking out. I turned around and he said, “I’m sorry, but we have to go now, my girlfriend HATES you.” Oops.

Fast forward two weeks and I stopped in another lovely restaurant/ bar and met a fantastic group of people who have been instrumental in helping me to find a place to rent, invited me to parties, and have generally been nothing short of lifesavers. When at first you don’t succeed (at a bar)… try, try again!

Adventuring solo. Try booking a group activity where you are sure to meet other people. Rock climbing, scuba diving, snorkeling, and touring are some activities that are popular here. You are bound to have opportunities to talk to others on the trips and hopefully have folks to hang with afterwards.

When all else fails, go to a franchise. As I was guiltily breaking my budget and healthy diet at Starbucks, I looked up at a board where passer-byers had scribbled notes. The one that caught my eye was, “Starbucks: You Saved My Life!” and I knew exactly what they meant. Sometimes there is nothing more that you need when you are travelling than something grounding and familiar. Since I have been away, I have frequented places I never used to eat like McDonalds and Subway. It is really more about having something familiar and comforting. Having an iced chai latte with a double chocolate brownie really can fix any problem in the world!

And in the end, you can fall back on the advice of my mother who simply put it, “Honey, you’re never really alone.”

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