Foreign Correspondent

(If you are having trouble viewing, go HERE to watch or download)

Questions and Concerns:

With these events happening here, I’m sure many may be scared off to either Travel or Live here.  My personal experience is that areas outside of Bangkok are Not Affected.  While the news reporters have made declarations of Thailand being unsafe, I would not agree.  Where I live, in Krabi, there are no Red Shirts, no demonstrations, and the only thing exploding are occasional fireworks on the beach.  While I find it very encouraging to stay abreast to the information and political climate, I would say that Thailand is currently still a safe place to visit and live.

The bulk of activities and demonstrations are happening in Bangkok, which can be completely avoided, or if you want to avoid Bangkok altogether, you can fly from the airport to any surrounding cities or islands.  Cody from Thrilling Heroics has done a great write up on the current situation, as well as a fantastic new guide for people coming here, Check it out:

27 Tips for First-Time Travelers to Thailand

Please feel free to leave any questions or comments below, I’d be happy to answer any questions I can.

I made a picture of myself with straight, highlighted hair.  I wore a suit skirt outfit with a collared shirt and fancy shoes.   I made comments along the side of this image like “long hair” or “get braces”.  In my picture, I had a briefcase and was smiling.

I looked down at my current status and sighed.  I was going to have to go from cargo pants, hoodies and flip flops to a whole ‘nother me.

I was going to have to change a lot…Or Was I???

Well, truth be told, I thought I had to.  I got the suits, the shirts, the briefcase, and went to the salon.  I started my business and went to networking events.  I had my perfect business cards and my first real website.  I got clients, speaking opportunities, and I got Noticed.

But not really in the way that I wanted to be…

Some part of me felt off.  It wasn’t really even something I could place at the time, but it was as though I was trying to be some “better” version of myself; but maybe not the right one.

When I packed my bag for Thailand, I can assure you there were no suites (other than bathing suits), no collared shirts, and my fancy shoes were a pair of Reef flip flops that I got on sale for $7.

While it took awhile, I slowly shed the seriousness of my past-professional-self, and started settling back into me. I started doing the things I used to love but had become a bit too ‘caught up’ to do before.

• I started diving again, climbing more, dancing, having wild nights out, letting myself enjoy a cold beer, and playing pool.
• My highlighted hair grew out and faded into its natural sun-streaked self.  My skin cleared, my mind cleared and my calendar cleared.
• I’ve spent the past 14 months traveling, writing, sunning, and generally enjoying life.

You can imagine my shock when I was contacted by Discovery Channel to be interviewed and featured on their show.  Even as I made arrangements, appointments and scheduled filming dates, I didn’t believe it was really happening.

I was going to be on TV??!!

We spent two days filming.  The first day was rock climbing.  This was a comedy of errors, trying to get ropes up, cameras up, crew members that were afraid of heights on the rock. Meanwhile, the host, Janet, and I were climbing (with one rope and only two people to belay).  We wrapped up climbing and I did my interview on the trail by the rocks that overlook the ocean.

Day two, the whole crew came to my place.  We filmed driving on my motorbike, which was a near disaster.  I haven’t ever had a passenger, and just learning to drive, I wasn’t quite ready for a camera crew to be following alongside in a tuk-tuk that was running me into oncoming traffic whilst filming.  We walked around the beaches, shopped and finished the day out with my birthday party at my friend’s restaurant.

My Old Self…

My old self would’ve been concerned with my hair, or what I would wear.  But for some reason I actually didn’t care at all.  For climbing, I wound my hair up, had an old pair of sweatpants that my friend gave me, and had on a $5 sports bra shirt.

The second day, we needed to pack quickly for the scene, so I wadded up a cheap beach dress and stuffed it into my bag.  That’s what I wore to the party, with a pair of $2 flip flops I bought from 7-11 six months ago.  I had on no makeup, and I simply let my hair down… in more ways than one.

The night was a fantastic success… and I felt a new sense of satisfaction… I could be famously myself.

I think the best part about this entire experience was that I knew every aspect was 100% me.  My biggest takeaways from this experience were:

• You don’t have to try so hard.
• The more you become yourself, the more people will seek you out.
• Trying to portray a perfect image is meaningless and exhausting.  At the end of the day, people want to be around someone who is relaxed, confident, and authentic.
• By leading an authentic life, you can become a true inspiration to everyone.

I’m very grateful for this opportunity and found it incredibly exciting as a Lifestyle Coach to be a guest on a world renowned travel and leisure show.  I’ll let you all know the details of when it is going to air, and hopefully you can check it out!  Thanks for your ongoing props and support!!

Seriously.

In one day of driving to and from the school I work at, I encounter nearly every form of demise in a variety of all shapes and sizes.  People drive on the opposite side of the road here, drive head on at you from either side of the road, and you are constantly dodging dogs, children, monks, tuk-tuks, other motorbikes, super-sized trucks, and paving equipment.

Right now, they are doing some construction.  A minor inconvenience of six to twenty foot ditches are running alongside the road with absolutely no warning or boundaries.  I call this part of my drive “The Graveyard”.  But somehow, even through the mayhem, I still make it to my destination unscathed, every day.

Most of these steps can also be applied to Life…

I’m slightly humored that this new event has brought about some valuable lessons I’m applying to more than just driving, and I hope they can help you, or at least make you laugh…

1. Have someone show you the ropes… or at least the brakes

When in doubt, get someone to help.  My friend Hilton took me out to drive on my first day.  I was hoping to go for a gentle ride around slow and straight roads.  What I got instead was a very real taste of what it is like to drive in Thailand.

We went down very windy roads, dirt and gravel roads, practiced skidding emergency stops, sped through a pack of wild attack dogs, then onto a road covered with paving equipment, spraying water trucks and slippery oiled asphalt chunks.  The traffic was down to one lane and oncoming traffic squeezed us up against the six inch shoulder.  Once that event was complete, back to a dirt road where geese proceeded to rear up and nearly attack us.

That night, it rained, and I was sure I had seen it all.  Even though I hoped for a more gentle introduction to riding, I realized that I would need to be comfortable in each of those situations, and inevitably they got me through my first week of driving where I needed to use each skill I learned in my training.

2. Assume everyone around you is going to do something stupid

Not to be a pessimist but I’ve discovered something that has made me much more happy.  I now assume that people around me are going to do something stupid. On the road, or in life, people are typically looking out for number one, and you are not it.  Really, some days as I am weaving in and out of Songtows (trucks that act as busses), motorbikes piled high with people and dogs, and ruthless truck drivers, I realize it is a miracle that we are all able to make it to our destinations alive.  If I assume we’re all just a bunch of fuck-ups trying to get to our destination, life and driving becomes a lot more bearable.

3. Don’t worry about what’s behind you, or you’ll crash

If I’m too worried about what is happening behind me, I start to get very overwhelmed and miss what I should be looking at:  what’s happening right in front of me.  Driving here is scary because trucks move at a much faster speed behind you and can invariably push you off the road if you aren’t paying attention.  But, I’m learning more and more to ignore them, take my time, and claim my space.

4. Change your speed when you need to

I recently read some statistics about how many traffic fatalities there are a year.  He made an excellent point of showing the relationships between speeding up and fatalities.  Obviously, the faster you go, the longer it takes to stop.  This is something important to keep in mind in life, as well as driving.

That said, oftentimes it is important to speed up.  I’ve gotten out of many near-catastrophes by speeding up and getting around the situation.  Being able to read the situation helps, and knowing how to change and adapt will get you around turns, ups and downs, and out of dangerous situations fast.

5. Claim your space and own it

This is a very exciting concept for me.  I’ve never really “owned” the space around me.  When you drive here, you very much have to own your space, or you will get run over.  I imagine it must be like being a quarterback and picking your path and going balls-out around and past obstacles.  At the stoplights, you might have twenty or thirty motorbikes lined up with you and when it is “Go Time”, you’ve got to claim that space and go for it.

6. And as Teacher Bill says, “When all else fails, and the road gets rocky, hold on to that Som’Bitch and keep on driving!”

There are so many times I want to Stop Driving.  The road is dusty and gravely (or wet!), the turn too tight, or a big-monster-truck-with-wheels-bigger-than-life cuts so close that I can smell the brake fluid.  My natural reaction is that I want to stop.  But I can’t.

So I take a deep breath, grip my handles tighter, and make it through.  Every time, I’ve lived, and every time, I get just a little bit tougher.  I’m learning more and more to sit through uncomfortable situations rather than trying to avoid them—and what do you know?—I’m getting better at dealing with them, too!!

Hope this finds you well and here are some pictures of my epic journey….

The short of it is that if you decide to work in a country, you can set up and be more productive.  My hope was that by committing to a schedule, I would actually get More work done.

Could it be true?

After four months, I would say Absolutely!  The high-schools here require you to teach about four hours a day.  Because I am now on a routine schedule (after a year of lazing about), I am getting up and getting shit done.

I love the interaction with the kids, have learned far more about the culture, and find myself continually learning from children.

Travel Anywhere…

For their midterm assignment, I decided to give them a trip.  They could go anywhere in the world, bring any amount of money, stay as long as they liked, and study anything while they were there.  The response was amazing. I actually got kids to write paragraphs that had barely been constructing sentences.  But, there were also some ways they used the language that made me laugh or brought tears to my eyes.  It also gave me a whole new appreciation for travel, and I hope these snippets will encourage you too.  I haven’t corrected the English or grammar intentionally, so enjoy!

When given the assignment, Where will you go, How much money will you bring, What will you do, What will you learn… there were some very interesting responses…

I will learn about staying alive.

I will need a lot of money.  I will drink beer every day.

I will enjoy the funny land.

I will learn about culture and experiences that I can’t find in the class.

From the travel, I will have been taught about How do I stay Exciting.

I will go to New Zeland.  I would like to stay with nature and meet sheep.

Oversea can make me have grown up and live in the world with myself.

I will need somewhere for my relaxation.  I would like to touch the wave sound.

The weather will be rainy in July but for me no problem.  This is life.

In The New Year…

Chinese New Year is this weekend.  We put together a wishing tree, full of their wishes, and I wanted to let you know… wherever you are in the world, that YOU are a part of these kid’s wishes.  Here are some below:

I wish that everyone in the world have good health and a perfect life.

I wish everybody good and hope they can have fun.

and from me… I wish that everyone can be HAPPY!

Since it is the New Year, What are Your Travel Plans?  Where will you go?  What will you do?  What do you hope to learn?

You have a very exciting story about turning a seemingly unfortunate event into something positive.  Please share with the readers what got you started on your adventures traveling around the world.

I became a travel writer by accident, literally.  A car ran an intersection and piled into my bike, breaking my kneecap. I got $20,000 from insurance, looked around, and thought, what the hell am I doing with my life?   So I quit my job, packed things in storage, and bought a round-the-world ticket to visit every country I’d ever dreamed of seeing.

I started a blog called Modern Gonzo, in tribute to one of my favorite writers Hunter S Thompson, and set off to see, and share, the world.   This led to a column for the local newspaper, and 12 months and 24 countries later, I returned home to find I’d somehow become a popular travel writer.   Assignments and other newspapers followed – the Chicago Tribune, South China Morning Post, Sydney Morning Herald.  All the while, I’m jet-setting around the world, but sleeping on couches because hardly anyone makes a living solely as a travel writer.

I thought this would be a neat idea for a TV show, and brought in fellow travel writer Julia Dimon.   Stars aligned, Word Travels (wordtravels.tv) got picked up by a production company, then a network in Canada, then National Geographic worldwide.  Five years since that accident, I’ve been to nearly 50 countries (about 90 in total from previous travels), am seen on four continents on TV, and write for millions of readers.   It has been, I admit it, quite the trip.

How were you able to go from blogging to becoming a travel journalist?

Can you share some tips with other bloggers on how to get their writing published?

People ask me all the time – how do I become a travel writer?  It’s really quite simple.   Travel.  And then, write. You’d be amazed at how many people don’t travel and want to be a travel writer, or don’t write and want to be a travel writer.   If you keep a journal, diary or blog, you’re a travel writer, pure and simple.  Getting published and making a living – well, that’s another story.

Word Travels has taken me to some of the most incredible landscapes (Sri Lanka, Tunisia, Ethiopia) to do some of the most incredible things (heli-yoga, cat-boarding, the world’s highest bungy jump!), but it’s been hard work, and at the end of the day, we all wanted to make an intelligent, inspiring travel series that would stand out amongst the glut of yuck on TV, and we worked damn hard to make it so.   We wanted to be fair to each country, its people and culture, and time would always be a challenge.  I’d love to return to every place I’ve been with more time and more money, but than again, I could say the same for life in general.  There’s no wrong or right way to travel. Just the opportunities we get to see the world, and what we make of them.

Thanks, Robin, for a fantastic interview!!

Connect with Robin

www.moderngonzo.com – Robin’s pioneering travel blog, with stories, video, photos and tips from over 50 countries.

www.wordtravels.tv – the OLN/CityTV/Nat Geo Adventure series that follows the lives of two working travel writers.

www.youtube.com/moderngonzo – hilarious self-edited clips from Robin’s adventures

www.twitter.com/robinesrock – Follow Robin’s adventures on Twitter

There was a small man living inside the mountain.  He called out to us from the cave and motioned for us to come inside.  I was hesitant at first, having no experience with cave dwellers, the scene was a bit foreboding and comedic at the same time.  This man was dressed only in a sarong, tied tightly around him, and there was smoke coming from the fire inside his cave.  He smiled a toothless grin and happily waved us inside.

The smirk of travel surprise was glued to my face in a kind of “Oh, shit… what is going to happen to me now” sort of way.  I’m walking into the cave, thoroughly amused.  This is the whole reason why I travel.  Our new friend speaks only Thai, and a couple words of English, but manages to pantomime quite well.  He motions for us to sit.  We are trying to explain that we are out of gas, and he just stands, nodding enthusiastically and points to a small table-like area to sit down.  We do as we are told.

I watch as the small old man makes his way over to a kettle, fills it with water, and puts it directly onto the fire.  He smiles and nods.  I secretly love him, and I have no idea who he is. He must be somewhere between 80 and a 200 years old.  He is not even five feet tall, bent over and ambling around the cave barefoot, doing his very best to ensure our comfort.

He sits with us and gives us coffee.  He rolls cigarettes in dried palm leaves and we sit smiling, drinking coffee, and smoking cigarettes.  I am giddy.  Eventually, he sticks out his hand and introduces himself as “Doctor”, which I find funny considering he is nearly naked, mostly toothless, and smoking cigarettes…. but I fully believe him. We tell him our names and sit smiling some more.  I ask him, “You live here?” and point around.  He nods enthusiastically and tells us his wife lives in another town.  Most of the communication is a lot of pointing and waving of the arms.  I’m wishing I had my camera and trying to absorb every detail of the situation because it seems so paranormal.

Next, the doctor, or medicine man, breaks out a bunch of astrological charts and begins to read my palm.  He reads my friend’s, as well, and declares that we are both “Dee Mak Mak”, which in English means “Very, very good”.  I’m happy to hear this because I don’t know what I would do if he said mine was bad.  He goes through the charts and asks us our birthday.  We are a bit confused as to if he wants the date, or the year, but quickly, he is at work , using a giant magnifying glass to see (he doesn’t have glasses).  He moves around ancient looking papers with strange markings and weird pictures.  He cross-references his books, he is deep in thought and research.  I am so wishing I spoke fluent Thai so I could figure out what he knows, because I’m figuring if anyone knows anything, it’s going to be him. We start drinking beer.  After the research is done, he concludes that we are both good, and good things will happen.  Again, I’m relieved.  He is trying to tell me more and motioning dramatically but speaking only in Thai.  The meaning is lost in translation, but I’m OK with not knowing.

I flip through a book of his that has the Chinese characters in it and pictures of animals.  We spend the next while pointing at photos of animals, saying them in Thai and English and imitating the noises and movements they make .  “Chicken, GAI, LUCKLUCKLUCK” and then we act like the animal and fall over laughing like we are five.  It is fantastic.

It is starting to get dark and the cave is getting darker.  We motion towards the motorbike and show him that we are out of gas.  He scurries around his cave gathering supplies in a caveman fashion and then pulls his motorbike up to ours.  He siphons ALL of HIS GAS BY HIS MOUTH into our gas tank.  Somehow, even with a mouthful of diesel, this man is still willing and able to smile at me.  I have tears creeping into my eyes.  I don’t even have a friend or family member I know that would be willing to do such a caring act.  I give him a piece of candy to take away the taste.  He is so excited that he does a little hop.

So now, we are set, have our fortunes read, animals memorized, and gas in the tank.  We try to give him money which he absolutely refuses.  We try to give him beer.  He refuses this too.  He is shaking his hands, and waving them around.

“Mai Chai, Mai Chai.  Choke Dee.  Choke Dee.”

Which I understand.  He is telling us No, No, it is good luck.  Good luck.  I remember that here, in Thailand, the Buddhist teachings are such that if you come across someone in need, you help them for nothing in return.  To be of service when someone is in need is good luck, because it means that when you need help, it will be there for you, too. We hugged him and went on our way, speechless from the whole experience.  I have yet to experience any act of giving that was so completely kind and generous from someone that expected absolutely nothing in return.  Here is a man that has nothing, and is giving us everything he has, happily.  I was completely blown away.

The strange part about this story is that I pass this cave on a regular basis.  I have never seen this man since the experience. The cave that had all of his belongings, the fire, and the tables is empty.  It is completely vacant, and devoid of any traces of him with the exception of some black on the ceiling, marking the memory of fire.  I have no idea where my small toothless medicine man has gone, but I will forever remember the experience of giving unconditionally.

My point of sharing this story with you is to get you to think about how you give.  I have never experienced giving like I have here.

Can you give without expecting something in return?

Are you able to give unconditionally?

Have you experienced unconditional giving?

Where can you give more in your life?

Border runs are my least favorite part of living abroad.

Why?

Border runs can be dangerous, expensive, exhausting, and no matter how settled you feel in your country of choice, the fact is that once you leave the country, you might not be coming back.

I’ve heard countless stories of expats that just went for a quick run and were randomly denied re-entrance back into the country where they reside.  On other border runs I’ve been lost, separated from my friends and weaving on a motorbike through rows of men clad with military gear and machine guns.

Having just returned from a trip to Penang, Malaysia, I want to share my near-rape/ death threat/ sexual predator experience with you.

While I consider myself a savvy traveler, I found myself completely tricked by a con-artist predator under the guise of someone who wanted to help me.  My hope for you is that if you are in a similar situation that you find yourself more prepared and on guard should such a situation happen to you. So with that…. The Worst Three Days of My Life So Far…

I arrived in Malaysia about four hours after I was supposed to. My minivan driver was quick to drop off every passenger at their front doorstep but me.  He tried to drop me off at the mall and told me to get out and get a taxi.  After twelve hours of being packed into an uncomfortable seat and hauled across countries, I wasn’t having it.  I sorted out where the guesthouse was, and made him take me there.   Huffing and puffing madly on a cigarette, he drove the extra two blocks, being sure to give me dirty looks as often as possible.  I didn’t see the guesthouse, and sick of his shit attitude, just told him to pull off.  Luckily, I looked up and had arrived just where I needed to be.  Not a bad first start!

After going into the office, I realized my luck had changed. There was no way the visa run could happen, and even worse, we were coming up on a weekend where the office would be closed.  I was going to have to pay nearly twice as much as anticipated.  Crap!  I went down to the ATM to get out cash and it didn’t work.  Fuck.  I went online to my bank to call to verify the transactions in Malaysia and the internet crashed.  I was told it would be down for several hours.  I couldn’t win.

General Overview of my current situation:

• I couldn’t get my visa.
• I had no money, or not enough to get what I needed.
• I had no access to money.
• I had no internet.
• My Thailand phone didn’t work in Malaysia.

I knew I had enough money to spend the night and pay for the visa with the extra fees.  I also had some money towards getting back… but not all of it.  I couldn’t even think straight.  I had a very sleepless night.

The next day I decided to just go ahead and pay for the visa and see what happened.  I had been able to get online and through a combination of IM-ing my sister  while she accessed my bank account online, I chatted with my bank rep via Skype.  Thank god for technology.  My sister was able to type over all my account info for access (Wells Fargo online was not accessible from Malaysia) and I was able to get just a bit more money transferred and sorted.  It might be enough, but barely.

Meeting a Sexual Predator

I decided to go for a walk to clear my head.  I had to wait until four to get my visa back and then I could just hop a bus and pray to god I had enough dough to get back.  This is where I casually bumped into my new Sexual Predator friend, which I will kindly refer to as ‘SP’ henceforth. SP was with his friend and offered a warm smile that was refreshing after all the shit I’d been through.  He casually asked where I was from and it wasn’t long until I had unloaded my long list of unfortunate events that had transpired in the short time I’d been there.  He walked back to a lobby where I thought he was staying and offered to buy me a beer.  The next thing I know, I was laughing again and everything was seemingly OK.  His friend was nice, and I was feeling better just being around other people.

SP was great at saying just the right things and making me feel completely safe.  He warned me about border towns, told me to be on guard and assured me I was safe with them, but to be on the lookout for other people. His paternal attitude was nice, because I was scared, being a female on my own in a border town.  He was overwhelmingly helpful and trustworthy, which in retrospect absolutely pisses me off.  I now know that it was all just a part of the bigger game:  To win my trust and lead me into more and more vulnerable situations.

So that is how the day progressed…winning my trust, saying the right things, seemingly being kind and parental and then leading me away from other people. Also, as the day went on, it went from a group of us to just me and SP.  All of this was planned.  He was just so good at it that I couldn’t see it.  He acted as that enthusiastic tour guide… wanted to show me the beach “around the corner” and just up the road…etc.  It was all good and fun until I needed to get my stuff back (he had put it at his place where it “was safe” because people break into cars at the beach.  He didn’t invite me in initially, because he was a ‘gentleman, and would never do that’.  But was insistent that I come up to get it back.

Getting Locked Up and Threatened

When the plan was to go up together and get my stuff, I refused.  The last thing I wanted was to be alone in some strange man’s house.  This is where the serious manipulation kicked in.  “What, after all I’ve done for you, you don’t trust me?  Are you racist?  What, do you think I’m the type of person that would hurt you?  All I’ve done all day is be nice to you!” This went on and on until I felt like a complete asshole.  But, my gut instinct not to go was right.  The next thing I know, I’m padlocked INSIDE SP’s house and he’s pinning me down and forcefully kissing me.  I’m choking.  I’m crying.  I’m freaking out.  I don’t know what to do.  He backs off and plays Good Cop / Bad Cop and is confusing the hell out of me.

His behaviors are strange and unpredictable.  He is telling me I’m racist and unappreciative. He’s telling me he can rape me if he wants to, or he could have earlier that day.  He is backing off, and then getting scary.  I don’t know what to do.  I need my stuff in his room but I’m sure as hell not going in there!

Somehow, eventually, I got out of there.  It’s unclear to me exactly what I said or did to get him to stop and let me go.  I told him I wanted to go to spend more time with him, but not there.  Let’s go to that restaurant/ bar on the beach.  Finally, he agreed.

As soon as I was there, I spotted two English couples by the bar.  I needed to talk to them… but HOW?

I was trying to act entertained by SP but I hated him.  After being pinned down, pushed, and nearly dragged into his room, I wanted him gone.  I needed to get away. The problem was, he also knew the hotel I was staying.  After I had gotten my passport, I found out that all the buses were full for that day (or so I was told, but this could have been part of his plan).  I had to stay another night.  He had graciously offered to cover my ticket and room and I was happy (at the time) to return the favor when him and his friend came to visit.  But that was all part of the trick, and how he knew where I was staying.  So technically, even if I got away, he would just go to where I was staying.  I told SP I’d take a taxi back.  There was NO WAY I was getting back in to a car with him. He refused and was getting shitty again.  As we got up, I approached the couples at the bar.  I leaned in and told one of the ladies I was in an unsafe situation and I didn’t want to get in the car with this man.  They invited me to join them.

This is where I found out about SP.  One of the guys explained to me that this is what he does, and how he operates.  They always see him with girls that came by themselves for border runs.  Everything he had done had been staged since the first casual run in.  All of the seemingly spontaneous events were planned to the detail and the dialog was tried, practiced, and perfected.

About the time I’m realizing all of this, the situation at the bar is beginning to escalate.  SP is realizing he’s been found out and is not going down without a fight.  The nice people who had invited me to join them are now being harassed.  The guys had tried to let him know I’d be fine with them and the ladies said they’d invited me back for coffee.  But, he wanted to fight.

Running Away

Going into the details of my drawn out escape seems a bit tedious, but the highlights were this:  Nice couple #1 were almost in a full on bar fight with SP.  He had a bottle ready to break over SP’s head after being threatened to his limit.  We were all told he was in the Liberian Military and he was going to hunt us down, find us, and cut us up into little pieces.  On my third attempt to leave (SP kept coming back), he chased after me and grabbed my arm so hard that I shrieked in terror.  That must’ve done the trick because he finally released me for good.  I escaped with nice couple #2, found the car, and ducked down when we drove past him.  We all found ourselves adrenaline pumping and driving aimlessly, not sure what to do.

We decided it wasn’t safe for me to stay at the hotel, because it was just a matter of time until he got there.  We drove to the hotel, and I was shaking walking back to my room.  The light was on inside and I was terrified he was going to jump out of somewhere with a knife. I opened the door slowly and rushed in to grab my bag.  I couldn’t get out of there fast enough.

By this point, it was about 2am.  The hotel was about 30 minutes from their house and I had to be back at the hotel to be on the 5 am minivan leaving in just a few hours.

Making Better Choices

Nice couple #2 made up their spare room, arranged a taxi for me, and my faith in humanity was restored.  I don’t think I slept more than twenty minutes.  I spent the time reviewing the whole situation in my head.  What had he said?  How did I get into this mess?  But even after going through the whole thing in my head, I realized something VERY strange:

Even if I had the same situations to do ALL OVER AGAIN, I would have made the same choices.

Let me clarify….It wasn’t because I wanted this to happen again.  It was because every choice I made at the time was The Best Choice of the options that existed.  What he had done so well was to leave me the element of choice that lead me straight into the trap. This is how I was suckered and this is how he makes it all happen.  This is also why I felt so stupid when the whole thing was over.

Before I knew it, my 4 am alarm was going off.  I had enough time for a quick shower and quietly packed my things.  I went upstairs to wait for the cab.  I waited, and waited and it never came.  My God, is this EVER GOING TO END?!? I didn’t want to wake up the nicest couple ever; I had already gotten them into enough drama already.  Eventually, at 4:30 there was a stirring upstairs.  She came down and realized I was going to need a ride back to the hotel.

We all loaded up again, my heart pumping, realizing that I’m headed back into the war zone.  I tried to shake off the awful comments that kept popping into my head about what he was going to do to me.

It was dark, and we were driving fast, whipping around the turns and blasting through red lights.  He let out a chuckle and let me know that red lights in Malaysia are optional, and more of a suggestion than anything.  We all laughed.  God bless them.

My heart beat fast as we approached the hotel, but luckily there was a minivan loading up with people.  I thanked Nice Couple #2 profusely and nothing short of ran to get in the van.  About five minutes later, the driver let me know I was in the wrong van.  I was not on his list.  My heart sank.  I had to get out and wait in the scary, dark, open to alleyway lobby of doom. I jumped at every shadow for the next bit of forever.  Finally, a van arrived, but the driver told me not to get in.  I felt like I was in some kind of nightmare that would never end.  When it circled around again I hardly even believed it.  I held my breath until he told me to get in, and spent the next 100 kilometers  sitting rigidly awaiting the border.  Finally, we passed out of Malaysia and into the familiar ground of Thailand.

At the end of the day, I count my blessings that I’m still alive. In the future, and what I wanted to pass along to you are the following lessons.  I believe that everything happens for a reason, so maybe I’ve gone through all this to share my story so that the same thing will never happen to you.

Lessons From Border Runs

1. Bring more than enough dough.  I’ve been told not to in case you’re robbed, but after this experience, I’ll bring the cash every time.
2. Assume your ATM won’t work.  Many banks block other countries, even if they are just across the border.
3. Pretend the internet doesn’t exist.  It may be less likely for you to find a café or get access in another town you are unfamiliar with.
4. Don’t go alone.  If you have to, follow the above steps and pay more to stay somewhere that isn’t a backpacker hang out.  That’s where the SP’s prey.
5. Be very weary of anyone who approaches you.  Even if it seems by chance, it may not be.  You are not there to make friends, get your stamp and go home.
6. If you do find yourself in a situation, don’t be afraid to ask others for help.  If you are lucky, you may find an older couple, someone of the same sex, and hopefully someone local.  Asking for help is the only reason I’m alive today.

My hope is that you never have to experience anything this awful.  But, as it is a scary world out there, and there are people that want to take advantage of you, it is also comforting to know that there are great people who can come to your rescue when the shit hits the fan.

As part of the inspiring force to help you ‘take the leap of faith’, we will be conducting mini interviews featuring global entrepreneurs who have become “Business Backpackers”. Because we are all busy traveling, working, and having loads of fun, it is a short list of questions that will hopefully give you a quick glimpse of others “Living the Life”.

Our fifth  mini-view comes from Andy Hayes, expert traveler, writer, and author of the blog sites AndyHayes.com, Travel Online Partners and Sharing Travel Experiences.   His site very informative for writers and anyone who has a blog.  Andy is a great example of someone living an unconventional life with a business that will travel.

What is your passion and how are you sharing it with the world?

My main passion is travel.  I find exploring foreign cultures and having unique travel experiences is what really gets me out of bed in the morning.  From sunrise at Stonehenge to sunset on the Hong Kong skyline, I’ve seen and done so many amazing things and I hope to be able to inspire and help others get off their armchairs and have their own unique experiences.  I have been doing this with my ever-expanding blog, Sharing Travel Experiences, where I am sharing an open conversation about great travel experiences, photos, and recommendations.  It has become pretty popular and I am loving it.

A side project has developed from this – I know and have met in the course of my travels many small businesses working in the travel industry – many of them just one or a handful of people – who have seen the popularity of my blog and others and want to know how to duplicate this success in their own business.  So, I am launching a separate community for those small businesses who want to learn, share information, and benefit from this ever-expanding world of the Internet.

Although I travel a lot (but not as much as some of my fellow travelers), I am based in cozy Edinburgh, Scotland.  It’s somewhat more cosmopolitan than some imagine, going well beyond the stereotypes of castles, ghosts, and men in skirts!  I love it so much I ended up writing a book about it – the Historic Walking Guide Edinburgh.  Before I lived here I was in sunny Amsterdam where I lived for many years.  Amsterdam is another place that defies its reputation; the sex, drugs, and rock and roll are confined to only small areas of the city, whereas you’ll find bohemian cafes, restaurants, and great atmosphere in the rest of town.  Walking along those gorgeous canals and hanging out in quirky cafes, I learned a lot about myself and about my passions in the world.  It was where I truly found the path that I find myself on today.

Breaking down those misconceptions that my ideas and my plans would never work was very challenging.  I had a huge mental block that said “things are the way they are and it will never change” but after getting some help and perspective, I realized that the only thing standing between me and my dreams was: me.  After that, it all came together very quickly – in some cases a little too quickly.  While I still have a very long path ahead on my journey and some days are better than others, I certainly feel like getting the ball rolling is one realllllly big push that you really have to prepare your energy for.  It is easy to be scared about what will happen next – because if you push, something will happen – but overcoming the fear and starting that inertia was difficult for me.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help if you need it.  I wouldn’t be where I was today without a great support network so find people who will be supportive and who have knowledge that can help.  You might need a coach to help you get your feet off the ground, or a marketing or business coach to work out the finer points of your business model – Alex Fayle was instrumental in helping me with getting things going.  But really, you don’t know what you’re missing.  Come on in – the water’s warm…

Links:

My Book About Edinburgh – http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0955928133?ie=UTF8&tag=sharinexperi-20&linkCode=xm2&camp=1789&creativeASIN=0955928133

and newest additions…

http://www.travelonlinepartners.com – a new resource for small businesses in travel and tourism to get the help they need with online technology
http://www.sharingtravelexperiences.com – a relaunch of  his previous travel site.  Same great recommendations and experiences but now with hand-picked travel specials and a exclusive travel concierge

Alex Fayle’s website is http://www.somedaysyndrome.com

Before I began my latest adventure of moving my business online and heading off to Thailand, I had many worries.  Worries tend to begin as What If’s and are typically future based.

Here were some of my BIG WHAT IF’s:

1. What if I get hurt?
2. What if I run out of money?
3. What if I can’t find a place to live?
4. What if my clients quit and I have no income?

I think most people have these concerns on an ongoing basis.  I think most people worry about the future, and worry about money.  We all seemingly have more than enough TODAY; but what if something happens, and it all goes away tomorrow?

My main purpose for writing this post today is because I think I have gotten to the point where I have had ALL of my worries happen. I’m going to tell a quick tale about each and the lessons that came from them.  My hope is that this post prompts you to look at your biggest worries, and face them head on. If we can learn how to do this on a regular basis, we become less afraid of life.  We can move confidently into the future with less stress and more freedom.

Worry #1:  What if I Get Hurt?

I love motorcycles.  When I was 19, I decided to buy a motorcycle and took a course on how to avoid accidents and handle emergencies.  It was fantastic.  We drove little Suzuki 300 cc motorcycles and whizzed around a parking lot jumping over logs and doing emergency stops.  I loved it!  When I got my bike, it was the real deal.  I loved going for rides, clearing my head, and taking to the long curvy country roads in Indiana.

One time, on my way back home from the lake, my friend and I had a giant Yukon pull out ten feet in front of us.  The girl that was driving obviously didn’t see us but when she did she stopped abruptly and blocked both lanes of traffic.  I had no way of going around her and ten feet of room to stop.  Luckily, because of my class, I knew how to do an emergency stop.  I locked up the breaks, came to a somewhat controlled slide and laid the motorcycle down on its side with very little damage to myself or my passenger.  My heart was pumping.  I somehow picked up my bike (weighing several hundred pounds) and walked it to the side of the road before going over and yelling at the driver.  Then I started to cry.

I’ve been very weary of bikes since then.  I got rid of my bike.  I rarely go on other people’s, not so much because I don’t trust the driver, but the other drivers on the road that just aren’t paying attention.   So, it is safe to say that being in a motorbike accident is one of my biggest fears in the world.

In April, I went flying off the back of my friend’s motorbike. We were rounding a sharp corner and hit sand.  The bike kept going, but we didn’t.  I flew, superman style across the rough rocky and sandy pavement wearing only a very small sundress.  I remember thinking to myself as I was sliding, “Man, this is really going to hurt!”

Immediately, I jumped up, got out of the road and assessed my damage.  I was bleeding everywhere. Most of my skin had black on it and I could see chunks of pavement under my skin.  I was very upset with my friend, mostly because I knew he took the turn too fast.  I had told him another time to slow down and felt like it was really inconsiderate to put me at risk like that.  But somehow I was able to contain myself and keep quiet until I could speak calmly.

Eventually, I broke the silence with, “What did you learn from this?”

“Well, many things.  But mostly, to slow down.  I try to do everything too fast.”

I responded, “Good.  Well, I’m willing to take these scars for your lesson.”

Then I started to cry.

The thing is, I was mostly upset because it had been such a big fear for so long, and now it was happening.  I had wanted to do my best to isolate myself from ever having to go through that kind of pain ever again.  The memory of the last accident was so powerful that I never wanted to have to deal with it, ever… but here is something strange:  I was hurt far worse this time than the previous accident.  The strange thing was, it wasn’t actually That Bad. Yes, it took weeks to heal up and I have scars on my knees, elbows and hand that will be there for life, but it wasn’t That Bad.  It wasn’t as bad as I had imagined it to be for All These Years.  I had built up the fear and the worry to be So Incredibly Huge and the reality was nothing in comparison.

Worry #2:  What if I Run Out of Money?

Ok, so this has happened, too. An emergency border run comes up, a client payment comes through late, an unexpected whatever comes up, and there I’ve been…worrying about money.  What is so strange about money is how much time we spend worrying about it. I think we spend more time worrying about money than anything else.  But in my experience, I have found that something always happens, and everything works out fine.

I was down to No Money. I was sitting in my bungalow, feeling sorry for myself and budgeting my next few meals before my client payments were going to come through.  I remembered that I had carried another wallet when I was living in Bangkok and decided to rummage through my backpack to see if that wallet had any extra change in it.  When I opened it up, there was $5,000 baht just sitting there staring back at me!! This is the equivalent of about $150 US dollars!!  In just one instant, my mood changed, my worry went away, and I knew somebody, somewhere was looking out for me.

Worry #3:  What if I Can’t Find a Place to Live?

I think if we are honest here, when you travel, living situations just sort of happen.  People pop up, a tour bus drops you off somewhere, you meet a new friend, and the next thing you know…your world has changed.  You are living somewhere else.  Just like that.  It’s not like at home, when you have to pack boxes, hire a moving company, and get a U-haul for all your crap.  I’ve changed my plans on a dime, just because something seemed more fun.

I came up to Bangkok for a two week vacation, and have now been here almost two months.  Why?  I started having fun. I have friends here and I’ve bounced around having a great time and now a group of us are looking for a place to live together.  When you are open to new living experiences, and having fun, great things happen.  Right now, I am sitting in an internet café with all my stuff, waiting out the rain.  My friend has gone back to the US and I’m cat sitting for them in the most amazing apartment I have ever seen.

When I was living in Australia, I met a fun group of kids I palled up with and lived with them for awhile.  I was just out of school, doing my teaching practicum and started crashing on their couch.  I became known as “The Poor American that sleeps on our brown couch.”  It was hysterical.  I’ve slept on boats, crashed on couches or floors, camped out, and one time my friend and I got lost, we lit a garbage bin on fire and slept on a pile of mulch. The reality of this is that it is all very funny and each time, I have been more than fine, I’ve been living an incredible life full of fun and adventures.  When it comes down to it, does it really even matter where you sleep?

Worry #4:  What if My Clients Quit, and I Have No Income?

As a business owner, one major fear is having your clients quit.  We ‘future worry’ about ending up in a cardboard box somewhere and not being able to eat.  I know this is silly, but I do this all the time!  I wonder what might happen if everything goes away and I am left with no income.  So here is the thing:  I have lost clients with the economy.  I have had people I love go away because their personal financial situations.  But, when I’ve had this happen, other opportunities have come up!

One of my goals has always been to teach college students.  I applied for teaching opportunities at home, only to find out that they had more than enough professors.  However, a few weeks ago I was expressing my desire to teach and two days later, I was offered a position to teach at a local management university!  I am having so much fun and learning how to teach internationally.  It only takes a few hours out of my week and I have more than enough time to run my business and have a full social life.

If you are reading this, my guess is that you are entrepreneurial and clever. When I ran out of money in Australia, I got creative.  I washed cars at a car lot.  I worked at a historical garden.  I even painted somebody’s boat at a boat yard.  It hasn’t come to that on this trip, but looking back, I had a lot of ingenuity at twenty-two.  I’m sure if it came down to it, I would have more now, because I have more talents and skills than ever before…And So Do You!  So don’t think of all of the What If’s that are holding you back, you are too smart to starve to death.  And, gosh darn it, people like you!

The Moral of My Story:

The moral of my story is this:  at this point, I have had ALL OF MY WORST FEARS AND WORRIES COME TRUE.  But, here is the thing:  I’m just fine.  I’m more than just fine, I’m great.  I’m having the time of my life!!  My world of possibilities has expanded because I no longer fear my worst concerns.  I now know, without a doubt that even the worst possible thing is really not that bad at all.  So get out there and stop worrying about what might happen.  You’ll be amazed by what does!!

It’s funny, but I never thought about it as not fitting in, simply as following my dream. I knew that I wanted more from my life than staying in a job I wasn’t enjoying simply to earn money. Luckily, my husband also shares that vision, so it was simply a matter of planning our escape.

Oh, that’s a tough question. I’ve learned so much from everywhere I’ve been. But if I had to pick one, it would be Nimes, France, where I spent almost a full year at the age of 21. It was the farthest from home I’d been and I didn’t know anyone – a great way to find out what you’re made of. It wasn’t always easy, but I learned a lot, both about the value of stepping out of your comfort zone once in a while and the danger of stereotyping (I was on the receiving end, but it made me determined to avoid doing the same to others).

A lot of people are only too ready to say how crazy it is to leave friends and family behind and move halfway around the world. Ignore them. Make sure your business is portable and then choose the life you want – you only get one shot, so you might as well enjoy it. It’s always better to try something than to wonder what would have happened if you did.

http://www.slideshare.net/sharonhh/sharon-hurley-hall-intro