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Flies in My Lipgloss and other Motorbike Escapades

One of my big fears I decided to conquer this year was driving a motorbike in Thailand.  If you’ve followed past stories, you know I was in an accident … or two.  I would liken driving in Thailand to juggling swords.  Pretty much every time I do it… I almost die.

Seriously.

In one day of driving to and from the school I work at, I encounter nearly every form of demise in a variety of all shapes and sizes.  People drive on the opposite side of the road here, drive head on at you from either side of the road, and you are constantly dodging dogs, children, monks, tuk-tuks, other motorbikes, super-sized trucks, and paving equipment.

Right now, they are doing some construction.  A minor inconvenience of six to twenty foot ditches are running alongside the road with absolutely no warning or boundaries.  I call this part of my drive “The Graveyard”.  But somehow, even through the mayhem, I still make it to my destination unscathed, every day.

Most of these steps can also be applied to Life…

I’m slightly humored that this new event has brought about some valuable lessons I’m applying to more than just driving, and I hope they can help you, or at least make you laugh…

1. Have someone show you the ropes… or at least the brakes

When in doubt, get someone to help.  My friend Hilton took me out to drive on my first day.  I was hoping to go for a gentle ride around slow and straight roads.  What I got instead was a very real taste of what it is like to drive in Thailand.

We went down very windy roads, dirt and gravel roads, practiced skidding emergency stops, sped through a pack of wild attack dogs, then onto a road covered with paving equipment, spraying water trucks and slippery oiled asphalt chunks.  The traffic was down to one lane and oncoming traffic squeezed us up against the six inch shoulder.  Once that event was complete, back to a dirt road where geese proceeded to rear up and nearly attack us.

That night, it rained, and I was sure I had seen it all.  Even though I hoped for a more gentle introduction to riding, I realized that I would need to be comfortable in each of those situations, and inevitably they got me through my first week of driving where I needed to use each skill I learned in my training.

2. Assume everyone around you is going to do something stupid

Not to be a pessimist but I’ve discovered something that has made me much more happy.  I now assume that people around me are going to do something stupid. On the road, or in life, people are typically looking out for number one, and you are not it.  Really, some days as I am weaving in and out of Songtows (trucks that act as busses), motorbikes piled high with people and dogs, and ruthless truck drivers, I realize it is a miracle that we are all able to make it to our destinations alive.  If I assume we’re all just a bunch of fuck-ups trying to get to our destination, life and driving becomes a lot more bearable.

3. Don’t worry about what’s behind you, or you’ll crash

If I’m too worried about what is happening behind me, I start to get very overwhelmed and miss what I should be looking at:  what’s happening right in front of me.  Driving here is scary because trucks move at a much faster speed behind you and can invariably push you off the road if you aren’t paying attention.  But, I’m learning more and more to ignore them, take my time, and claim my space.

4. Change your speed when you need to

I recently read some statistics about how many traffic fatalities there are a year.  He made an excellent point of showing the relationships between speeding up and fatalities.  Obviously, the faster you go, the longer it takes to stop.  This is something important to keep in mind in life, as well as driving.

That said, oftentimes it is important to speed up.  I’ve gotten out of many near-catastrophes by speeding up and getting around the situation.  Being able to read the situation helps, and knowing how to change and adapt will get you around turns, ups and downs, and out of dangerous situations fast.

5. Claim your space and own it

This is a very exciting concept for me.  I’ve never really “owned” the space around me.  When you drive here, you very much have to own your space, or you will get run over.  I imagine it must be like being a quarterback and picking your path and going balls-out around and past obstacles.  At the stoplights, you might have twenty or thirty motorbikes lined up with you and when it is “Go Time”, you’ve got to claim that space and go for it.

6. And as Teacher Bill says, “When all else fails, and the road gets rocky, hold on to that Som’Bitch and keep on driving!”

There are so many times I want to Stop Driving.  The road is dusty and gravely (or wet!), the turn too tight, or a big-monster-truck-with-wheels-bigger-than-life cuts so close that I can smell the brake fluid.  My natural reaction is that I want to stop.  But I can’t.

So I take a deep breath, grip my handles tighter, and make it through.  Every time, I’ve lived, and every time, I get just a little bit tougher.  I’m learning more and more to sit through uncomfortable situations rather than trying to avoid them—and what do you know?—I’m getting better at dealing with them, too!!

Hope this finds you well and here are some pictures of my epic journey….

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Machine Guns, Border Runs, and Sexual Predators

One very real part about living in other countries is the fact that you Never Really Live There.  You can be having the time of your life, seeing the sights, or even be renting an apartment…. But eventually the sobering thought of your visa expiring will inevitably come up.

Border runs are my least favorite part of living abroad.

Why?

Border runs can be dangerous, expensive, exhausting, and no matter how settled you feel in your country of choice, the fact is that once you leave the country, you might not be coming back.

I’ve heard countless stories of expats that just went for a quick run and were randomly denied re-entrance back into the country where they reside.  On other border runs I’ve been lost, separated from my friends and weaving on a motorbike through rows of men clad with military gear and machine guns.

Having just returned from a trip to Penang, Malaysia, I want to share my near-rape/ death threat/ sexual predator experience with you.

While I consider myself a savvy traveler, I found myself completely tricked by a con-artist predator under the guise of someone who wanted to help me.  My hope for you is that if you are in a similar situation that you find yourself more prepared and on guard should such a situation happen to you. So with that…. The Worst Three Days of My Life So Far…

I arrived in Malaysia about four hours after I was supposed to. My minivan driver was quick to drop off every passenger at their front doorstep but me.  He tried to drop me off at the mall and told me to get out and get a taxi.  After twelve hours of being packed into an uncomfortable seat and hauled across countries, I wasn’t having it.  I sorted out where the guesthouse was, and made him take me there.   Huffing and puffing madly on a cigarette, he drove the extra two blocks, being sure to give me dirty looks as often as possible.  I didn’t see the guesthouse, and sick of his shit attitude, just told him to pull off.  Luckily, I looked up and had arrived just where I needed to be.  Not a bad first start!

After going into the office, I realized my luck had changed. There was no way the visa run could happen, and even worse, we were coming up on a weekend where the office would be closed.  I was going to have to pay nearly twice as much as anticipated.  Crap!  I went down to the ATM to get out cash and it didn’t work.  Fuck.  I went online to my bank to call to verify the transactions in Malaysia and the internet crashed.  I was told it would be down for several hours.  I couldn’t win.

General Overview of my current situation:

• I couldn’t get my visa.
• I had no money, or not enough to get what I needed.
• I had no access to money.
• I had no internet.
• My Thailand phone didn’t work in Malaysia.

I knew I had enough money to spend the night and pay for the visa with the extra fees.  I also had some money towards getting back… but not all of it.  I couldn’t even think straight.  I had a very sleepless night.

The next day I decided to just go ahead and pay for the visa and see what happened.  I had been able to get online and through a combination of IM-ing my sister  while she accessed my bank account online, I chatted with my bank rep via Skype.  Thank god for technology.  My sister was able to type over all my account info for access (Wells Fargo online was not accessible from Malaysia) and I was able to get just a bit more money transferred and sorted.  It might be enough, but barely.

Meeting a Sexual Predator

I decided to go for a walk to clear my head.  I had to wait until four to get my visa back and then I could just hop a bus and pray to god I had enough dough to get back.  This is where I casually bumped into my new Sexual Predator friend, which I will kindly refer to as ‘SP’ henceforth. SP was with his friend and offered a warm smile that was refreshing after all the shit I’d been through.  He casually asked where I was from and it wasn’t long until I had unloaded my long list of unfortunate events that had transpired in the short time I’d been there.  He walked back to a lobby where I thought he was staying and offered to buy me a beer.  The next thing I know, I was laughing again and everything was seemingly OK.  His friend was nice, and I was feeling better just being around other people.

SP was great at saying just the right things and making me feel completely safe.  He warned me about border towns, told me to be on guard and assured me I was safe with them, but to be on the lookout for other people. His paternal attitude was nice, because I was scared, being a female on my own in a border town.  He was overwhelmingly helpful and trustworthy, which in retrospect absolutely pisses me off.  I now know that it was all just a part of the bigger game:  To win my trust and lead me into more and more vulnerable situations.

So that is how the day progressed…winning my trust, saying the right things, seemingly being kind and parental and then leading me away from other people. Also, as the day went on, it went from a group of us to just me and SP.  All of this was planned.  He was just so good at it that I couldn’t see it.  He acted as that enthusiastic tour guide… wanted to show me the beach “around the corner” and just up the road…etc.  It was all good and fun until I needed to get my stuff back (he had put it at his place where it “was safe” because people break into cars at the beach.  He didn’t invite me in initially, because he was a ‘gentleman, and would never do that’.  But was insistent that I come up to get it back.

Getting Locked Up and Threatened

When the plan was to go up together and get my stuff, I refused.  The last thing I wanted was to be alone in some strange man’s house.  This is where the serious manipulation kicked in.  “What, after all I’ve done for you, you don’t trust me?  Are you racist?  What, do you think I’m the type of person that would hurt you?  All I’ve done all day is be nice to you!” This went on and on until I felt like a complete asshole.  But, my gut instinct not to go was right.  The next thing I know, I’m padlocked INSIDE SP’s house and he’s pinning me down and forcefully kissing me.  I’m choking.  I’m crying.  I’m freaking out.  I don’t know what to do.  He backs off and plays Good Cop / Bad Cop and is confusing the hell out of me.

His behaviors are strange and unpredictable.  He is telling me I’m racist and unappreciative. He’s telling me he can rape me if he wants to, or he could have earlier that day.  He is backing off, and then getting scary.  I don’t know what to do.  I need my stuff in his room but I’m sure as hell not going in there!

Somehow, eventually, I got out of there.  It’s unclear to me exactly what I said or did to get him to stop and let me go.  I told him I wanted to go to spend more time with him, but not there.  Let’s go to that restaurant/ bar on the beach.  Finally, he agreed.

As soon as I was there, I spotted two English couples by the bar.  I needed to talk to them… but HOW?

I was trying to act entertained by SP but I hated him.  After being pinned down, pushed, and nearly dragged into his room, I wanted him gone.  I needed to get away. The problem was, he also knew the hotel I was staying.  After I had gotten my passport, I found out that all the buses were full for that day (or so I was told, but this could have been part of his plan).  I had to stay another night.  He had graciously offered to cover my ticket and room and I was happy (at the time) to return the favor when him and his friend came to visit.  But that was all part of the trick, and how he knew where I was staying.  So technically, even if I got away, he would just go to where I was staying.  I told SP I’d take a taxi back.  There was NO WAY I was getting back in to a car with him. He refused and was getting shitty again.  As we got up, I approached the couples at the bar.  I leaned in and told one of the ladies I was in an unsafe situation and I didn’t want to get in the car with this man.  They invited me to join them.

This is where I found out about SP.  One of the guys explained to me that this is what he does, and how he operates.  They always see him with girls that came by themselves for border runs.  Everything he had done had been staged since the first casual run in.  All of the seemingly spontaneous events were planned to the detail and the dialog was tried, practiced, and perfected.

About the time I’m realizing all of this, the situation at the bar is beginning to escalate.  SP is realizing he’s been found out and is not going down without a fight.  The nice people who had invited me to join them are now being harassed.  The guys had tried to let him know I’d be fine with them and the ladies said they’d invited me back for coffee.  But, he wanted to fight.

Running Away

Going into the details of my drawn out escape seems a bit tedious, but the highlights were this:  Nice couple #1 were almost in a full on bar fight with SP.  He had a bottle ready to break over SP’s head after being threatened to his limit.  We were all told he was in the Liberian Military and he was going to hunt us down, find us, and cut us up into little pieces.  On my third attempt to leave (SP kept coming back), he chased after me and grabbed my arm so hard that I shrieked in terror.  That must’ve done the trick because he finally released me for good.  I escaped with nice couple #2, found the car, and ducked down when we drove past him.  We all found ourselves adrenaline pumping and driving aimlessly, not sure what to do.

We decided it wasn’t safe for me to stay at the hotel, because it was just a matter of time until he got there.  We drove to the hotel, and I was shaking walking back to my room.  The light was on inside and I was terrified he was going to jump out of somewhere with a knife. I opened the door slowly and rushed in to grab my bag.  I couldn’t get out of there fast enough.

By this point, it was about 2am.  The hotel was about 30 minutes from their house and I had to be back at the hotel to be on the 5 am minivan leaving in just a few hours.

Making Better Choices

Nice couple #2 made up their spare room, arranged a taxi for me, and my faith in humanity was restored.  I don’t think I slept more than twenty minutes.  I spent the time reviewing the whole situation in my head.  What had he said?  How did I get into this mess?  But even after going through the whole thing in my head, I realized something VERY strange:

Even if I had the same situations to do ALL OVER AGAIN, I would have made the same choices.

Let me clarify….It wasn’t because I wanted this to happen again.  It was because every choice I made at the time was The Best Choice of the options that existed.  What he had done so well was to leave me the element of choice that lead me straight into the trap. This is how I was suckered and this is how he makes it all happen.  This is also why I felt so stupid when the whole thing was over.

Before I knew it, my 4 am alarm was going off.  I had enough time for a quick shower and quietly packed my things.  I went upstairs to wait for the cab.  I waited, and waited and it never came.  My God, is this EVER GOING TO END?!? I didn’t want to wake up the nicest couple ever; I had already gotten them into enough drama already.  Eventually, at 4:30 there was a stirring upstairs.  She came down and realized I was going to need a ride back to the hotel.

We all loaded up again, my heart pumping, realizing that I’m headed back into the war zone.  I tried to shake off the awful comments that kept popping into my head about what he was going to do to me.

It was dark, and we were driving fast, whipping around the turns and blasting through red lights.  He let out a chuckle and let me know that red lights in Malaysia are optional, and more of a suggestion than anything.  We all laughed.  God bless them.

My heart beat fast as we approached the hotel, but luckily there was a minivan loading up with people.  I thanked Nice Couple #2 profusely and nothing short of ran to get in the van.  About five minutes later, the driver let me know I was in the wrong van.  I was not on his list.  My heart sank.  I had to get out and wait in the scary, dark, open to alleyway lobby of doom. I jumped at every shadow for the next bit of forever.  Finally, a van arrived, but the driver told me not to get in.  I felt like I was in some kind of nightmare that would never end.  When it circled around again I hardly even believed it.  I held my breath until he told me to get in, and spent the next 100 kilometers  sitting rigidly awaiting the border.  Finally, we passed out of Malaysia and into the familiar ground of Thailand.

At the end of the day, I count my blessings that I’m still alive. In the future, and what I wanted to pass along to you are the following lessons.  I believe that everything happens for a reason, so maybe I’ve gone through all this to share my story so that the same thing will never happen to you.

Lessons From Border Runs

1. Bring more than enough dough.  I’ve been told not to in case you’re robbed, but after this experience, I’ll bring the cash every time.
2. Assume your ATM won’t work.  Many banks block other countries, even if they are just across the border.
3. Pretend the internet doesn’t exist.  It may be less likely for you to find a café or get access in another town you are unfamiliar with.
4. Don’t go alone.  If you have to, follow the above steps and pay more to stay somewhere that isn’t a backpacker hang out.  That’s where the SP’s prey.
5. Be very weary of anyone who approaches you.  Even if it seems by chance, it may not be.  You are not there to make friends, get your stamp and go home.
6. If you do find yourself in a situation, don’t be afraid to ask others for help.  If you are lucky, you may find an older couple, someone of the same sex, and hopefully someone local.  Asking for help is the only reason I’m alive today.

My hope is that you never have to experience anything this awful.  But, as it is a scary world out there, and there are people that want to take advantage of you, it is also comforting to know that there are great people who can come to your rescue when the shit hits the fan.

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Four of Your Biggest Travel Worries & How to Handle Them

Today I am going to share a bit about worry.  From time to time I find myself caught up in the negative cycle of worrying about things, trying to figure out my whole life, and wondering if I am going to be alright in the future.  Worry is a strange machine.  It stops for awhile, then starts back up again, full blast until sometimes it begins to take over completely.

Before I began my latest adventure of moving my business online and heading off to Thailand, I had many worries.  Worries tend to begin as What If’s and are typically future based.

Here were some of my BIG WHAT IF’s:

1. What if I get hurt?
2. What if I run out of money?
3. What if I can’t find a place to live?
4. What if my clients quit and I have no income?

I think most people have these concerns on an ongoing basis.  I think most people worry about the future, and worry about money.  We all seemingly have more than enough TODAY; but what if something happens, and it all goes away tomorrow?

My main purpose for writing this post today is because I think I have gotten to the point where I have had ALL of my worries happen. I’m going to tell a quick tale about each and the lessons that came from them.  My hope is that this post prompts you to look at your biggest worries, and face them head on. If we can learn how to do this on a regular basis, we become less afraid of life.  We can move confidently into the future with less stress and more freedom.

Worry #1:  What if I Get Hurt?

I love motorcycles.  When I was 19, I decided to buy a motorcycle and took a course on how to avoid accidents and handle emergencies.  It was fantastic.  We drove little Suzuki 300 cc motorcycles and whizzed around a parking lot jumping over logs and doing emergency stops.  I loved it!  When I got my bike, it was the real deal.  I loved going for rides, clearing my head, and taking to the long curvy country roads in Indiana.

One time, on my way back home from the lake, my friend and I had a giant Yukon pull out ten feet in front of us.  The girl that was driving obviously didn’t see us but when she did she stopped abruptly and blocked both lanes of traffic.  I had no way of going around her and ten feet of room to stop.  Luckily, because of my class, I knew how to do an emergency stop.  I locked up the breaks, came to a somewhat controlled slide and laid the motorcycle down on its side with very little damage to myself or my passenger.  My heart was pumping.  I somehow picked up my bike (weighing several hundred pounds) and walked it to the side of the road before going over and yelling at the driver.  Then I started to cry.

I’ve been very weary of bikes since then.  I got rid of my bike.  I rarely go on other people’s, not so much because I don’t trust the driver, but the other drivers on the road that just aren’t paying attention.   So, it is safe to say that being in a motorbike accident is one of my biggest fears in the world.

In April, I went flying off the back of my friend’s motorbike. We were rounding a sharp corner and hit sand.  The bike kept going, but we didn’t.  I flew, superman style across the rough rocky and sandy pavement wearing only a very small sundress.  I remember thinking to myself as I was sliding, “Man, this is really going to hurt!”

Immediately, I jumped up, got out of the road and assessed my damage.  I was bleeding everywhere. Most of my skin had black on it and I could see chunks of pavement under my skin.  I was very upset with my friend, mostly because I knew he took the turn too fast.  I had told him another time to slow down and felt like it was really inconsiderate to put me at risk like that.  But somehow I was able to contain myself and keep quiet until I could speak calmly.

Eventually, I broke the silence with, “What did you learn from this?”

“Well, many things.  But mostly, to slow down.  I try to do everything too fast.”

I responded, “Good.  Well, I’m willing to take these scars for your lesson.”

Then I started to cry.

The thing is, I was mostly upset because it had been such a big fear for so long, and now it was happening.  I had wanted to do my best to isolate myself from ever having to go through that kind of pain ever again.  The memory of the last accident was so powerful that I never wanted to have to deal with it, ever… but here is something strange:  I was hurt far worse this time than the previous accident.  The strange thing was, it wasn’t actually That Bad. Yes, it took weeks to heal up and I have scars on my knees, elbows and hand that will be there for life, but it wasn’t That Bad.  It wasn’t as bad as I had imagined it to be for All These Years.  I had built up the fear and the worry to be So Incredibly Huge and the reality was nothing in comparison.

Worry #2:  What if I Run Out of Money?

Ok, so this has happened, too. An emergency border run comes up, a client payment comes through late, an unexpected whatever comes up, and there I’ve been…worrying about money.  What is so strange about money is how much time we spend worrying about it. I think we spend more time worrying about money than anything else.  But in my experience, I have found that something always happens, and everything works out fine.

I was down to No Money. I was sitting in my bungalow, feeling sorry for myself and budgeting my next few meals before my client payments were going to come through.  I remembered that I had carried another wallet when I was living in Bangkok and decided to rummage through my backpack to see if that wallet had any extra change in it.  When I opened it up, there was $5,000 baht just sitting there staring back at me!! This is the equivalent of about $150 US dollars!!  In just one instant, my mood changed, my worry went away, and I knew somebody, somewhere was looking out for me.

Worry #3:  What if I Can’t Find a Place to Live?

I think if we are honest here, when you travel, living situations just sort of happen.  People pop up, a tour bus drops you off somewhere, you meet a new friend, and the next thing you know…your world has changed.  You are living somewhere else.  Just like that.  It’s not like at home, when you have to pack boxes, hire a moving company, and get a U-haul for all your crap.  I’ve changed my plans on a dime, just because something seemed more fun.

I came up to Bangkok for a two week vacation, and have now been here almost two months.  Why?  I started having fun. I have friends here and I’ve bounced around having a great time and now a group of us are looking for a place to live together.  When you are open to new living experiences, and having fun, great things happen.  Right now, I am sitting in an internet café with all my stuff, waiting out the rain.  My friend has gone back to the US and I’m cat sitting for them in the most amazing apartment I have ever seen.

When I was living in Australia, I met a fun group of kids I palled up with and lived with them for awhile.  I was just out of school, doing my teaching practicum and started crashing on their couch.  I became known as “The Poor American that sleeps on our brown couch.”  It was hysterical.  I’ve slept on boats, crashed on couches or floors, camped out, and one time my friend and I got lost, we lit a garbage bin on fire and slept on a pile of mulch. The reality of this is that it is all very funny and each time, I have been more than fine, I’ve been living an incredible life full of fun and adventures.  When it comes down to it, does it really even matter where you sleep?

Worry #4:  What if My Clients Quit, and I Have No Income?

As a business owner, one major fear is having your clients quit.  We ‘future worry’ about ending up in a cardboard box somewhere and not being able to eat.  I know this is silly, but I do this all the time!  I wonder what might happen if everything goes away and I am left with no income.  So here is the thing:  I have lost clients with the economy.  I have had people I love go away because their personal financial situations.  But, when I’ve had this happen, other opportunities have come up!

One of my goals has always been to teach college students.  I applied for teaching opportunities at home, only to find out that they had more than enough professors.  However, a few weeks ago I was expressing my desire to teach and two days later, I was offered a position to teach at a local management university!  I am having so much fun and learning how to teach internationally.  It only takes a few hours out of my week and I have more than enough time to run my business and have a full social life.

If you are reading this, my guess is that you are entrepreneurial and clever. When I ran out of money in Australia, I got creative.  I washed cars at a car lot.  I worked at a historical garden.  I even painted somebody’s boat at a boat yard.  It hasn’t come to that on this trip, but looking back, I had a lot of ingenuity at twenty-two.  I’m sure if it came down to it, I would have more now, because I have more talents and skills than ever before…And So Do You!  So don’t think of all of the What If’s that are holding you back, you are too smart to starve to death.  And, gosh darn it, people like you!

The Moral of My Story:

The moral of my story is this:  at this point, I have had ALL OF MY WORST FEARS AND WORRIES COME TRUE.  But, here is the thing:  I’m just fine.  I’m more than just fine, I’m great.  I’m having the time of my life!!  My world of possibilities has expanded because I no longer fear my worst concerns.  I now know, without a doubt that even the worst possible thing is really not that bad at all.  So get out there and stop worrying about what might happen.  You’ll be amazed by what does!!

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Going Global: Traveling Solo, Going it Alone

 

Sometimes, when you really want something in life, you have to go it alone. Traveling alone can be an overwhelming and scary adventure, especially if you are a female. With all of my travels in my life I have had somewhat of an itinerary, except now. This makes for an interesting scenario. First, I don’t know where I’m going, and then, I don’t know how long I will stay. While this is exciting and fun, it can feel like a bit of an emotional rollercoaster at times, too! It also makes for some strange conversations. People don’t understand what I’m doing and I can’t tell them where I’m going. Hmmm. ‘We’ll just leave that girl alone!’

However, being alone is a very real part of life. Most of us avoid it like the plague because it means that we will have to feel uncomfortable, or scrutinized by others wondering why we are by ourselves. This becomes even more the truth when you don’t know the language others are speaking (so they must be talking about you). These were my initial worries going out to my mystery destination all alone. And, almost three weeks later, I am happy to say I am much more comfortable with my aloneness.

So far, I have come up with these tips for those traveling solo…

Make friends with the locals

Most of the people that live here are shop owners and run bungalows. The good news for me is that I know they will be there every day. Sometimes just seeing a familiar face is enough to get you out of a ‘travel funk’, and into higher spirits. My favorite friend here is Ploy, she runs the bungalow where I live and each day she teaches me a new word in Thai.

Take the time you need for introspection

It has been difficult for me to stop myself from running out and making friends with the whole town right away. I am inherently a “Chatty Kathy” and it is hard for me to be quiet, and even harder for me to sit still (school was a nightmare). When I arrived here I promptly got an eye infection and a cold. It was as if the Universe was telling me: stay put! Reluctantly I listened and spent the next several days just hanging out at the bungalow or going to the beach by myself. When you are quiet and no one else is talking to you, it is a great way to observe all of the chatting that is still going on in your head. I was amazed that I was still talking for weeks even though no one else could hear. The head voice hasn’t completely halted, but it has at least gotten off of the RedBull!

Find your natural rhythm

I was also able to get into a natural rhythm with myself. Not having to be anywhere on anyone else’s terms, I was able to really see what my patterns were and make up a new schedule that fit my needs. I now wake up and do Thai Chi and Chi Kung, read, and then go out for the day. I come back around five, nap and then go to dinner. I usually spend my evenings reading, writing or going to an internet café. I have found that this is a more productive use of my time and gives me the most enjoyment throughout the week.

Learn the language

One of my new favorite pastimes is learning how to speak in Thai. Because the language is tonal, I can work on learning the phonetics at night and then correct my tones during the day. I practice every chance I get. When someone tells me how much something is in English, I respond with how I think it might be said in Thai. This gives me the opportunity to hear it again with the correct tone. Then, I do the same thing with getting my change, or ordering my food. Everyone I have tried this with has been excited that I was trying to learn their language… and I can spend the bulk of my day interacting with the locals and taking in their culture.

People watching

…has become my new reality show. I now pick out chairs in restaurants that will give me the best view of the street. I watch bustling vendors, young couples on motorbikes, and farong (tourists) shuffling about with their sunburns. At most points in time there are several different languages going on all around me. I try to figure out where people are from: France, Germany, Sweden, Switzerland.

Watching the Thai people interact has taught me more about their culture than any tour book could ever tell. If you are observant, you can pick up on what is going on in most situations. I really appreciate the Thai culture and their ability to be Mai Pen Rai or accepting and unbothered by life’s dramas.

Get a great book

Find a bookstore and get into a book. Having a fun read is essential when trying to relax and go with the flow. This can also be a great crutch to have with you as you go out for meals by yourself.

Connect with other travelers online

There are other cool people planning trips in your area. www.couchsurfing.com is a great tool for meeting others and coordinating travel with others. Go on, if you haven’t already, and create a profile for when and where you are travelling. This site is great because in your duller moments (i.e. when you are not travelling) you can host other travelers and invite them to meet up with or stay with you. Several of the wonderful new friends I’ve met here have been through www.facebook.com. Because I had communicated on there where I was and my latest updates, other friends of mine connected me with folks that either lived there or were passing through. This ‘friend of a friend’ acquaintance can make you feel much closer to home and help you to build your new network of friends.

Send mail

Send postcards. Sending mail back home can make you feel more connected. Sharing your experiences can motivate friends and family and make them feel like they are a part of your journey.

Spend time emailing friends and family and letting them know how and why you appreciate them. Often times when we are home, we fail to realize the full depth and appreciation we have for others in our lives. Maybe now is the time to reach out and let people know how special they are to you.

Go out on your own

Bars? I put a question mark after this one because it could go either way. After arriving in a new town, I spent the first week quite sick. I finally pulled myself together, more out of boredom than recovery and walked down to a local Irish pub. Feigning interest in the football game on TV, I was joined by a nice couple at the bar. Shortly thereafter we were talking about US politics (a subject I feel woefully uninterested and undereducated to represent) with a gentleman from Sweden and his new Thai girlfriend. About thirty minutes into our dialog he is up and starts walking out. I turned around and he said, “I’m sorry, but we have to go now, my girlfriend HATES you.” Oops.

Fast forward two weeks and I stopped in another lovely restaurant/ bar and met a fantastic group of people who have been instrumental in helping me to find a place to rent, invited me to parties, and have generally been nothing short of lifesavers. When at first you don’t succeed (at a bar)… try, try again!

Adventuring solo. Try booking a group activity where you are sure to meet other people. Rock climbing, scuba diving, snorkeling, and touring are some activities that are popular here. You are bound to have opportunities to talk to others on the trips and hopefully have folks to hang with afterwards.

When all else fails, go to a franchise. As I was guiltily breaking my budget and healthy diet at Starbucks, I looked up at a board where passer-byers had scribbled notes. The one that caught my eye was, “Starbucks: You Saved My Life!” and I knew exactly what they meant. Sometimes there is nothing more that you need when you are travelling than something grounding and familiar. Since I have been away, I have frequented places I never used to eat like McDonalds and Subway. It is really more about having something familiar and comforting. Having an iced chai latte with a double chocolate brownie really can fix any problem in the world!

And in the end, you can fall back on the advice of my mother who simply put it, “Honey, you’re never really alone.”

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How to Go Location-Independent

Many of you have asked us, “What does it take to Go Global?” Well, to develop your business and expand your reach to a global audience can take a lot of time and hard work, but if you’re already in a place where you can work from anywhere, if you’ve negotiated a few months off for a “mini-retirement,” or if you’re lucky enough to have the expendable income, then simply getting on the road is a lot easier to do. After having done it ourselves—we’ve compiled a short list of just 18 items that will get you living the location-independent lifestyle in a matter of months. We owe a lot on this list to Timothy Ferriss‘ advice in The 4 Hour Workweek, but we’ve also tested and learned a lot from experience, and we’ve tried to bring it all together on one page for you. Hope you enjoy:

Going Global Countdown

1. Do the research on your destination. Check out the current political affairs in the region and find out where the nearest US Embassy is in case of complications. You might also register your travel dates with the State Department in case of emergency or political turmoil. Check the Centers for Disease Control to determine if immunizations are required for your country of choice and get your hands on a copy of your immunization record (sometimes required at foreign customs).
2. Make sure you have at least 6 months left on your valid passport or else renew your passport with the State Department. Apply for a visa for the duration of your stay in your target country and any other countries you may be traveling through for more than a layover.
3. Downsize your stuff. Use Pareto Principle to start eliminating everything you don’t need (give yourself 3 months for this). From The 4 Hour Workweek: “What is the 20% of my belongings that I use 80% of the time? Eliminate the other 80% in clothing, magazines, books, and all else. Be ruthless—you can always repurchase things you can’t live without. Which belongings create stress in my life?…” Sell what you don’t need on sites like Craigslist and eBay, and it might help finance your plane ticket outta here!
4. Look at adding extended overseas travel coverage to your existing health insurance plan, or else opt for an international plan and nix your current insurance when you leave (check out World Nomads). If you’ll be gone for a significant time, visit your doctor, dentist, eye doctor & so on and make sure to get prescriptions for the duration of your stay.
5. Purchase your ticket, starting with a search on Kayak.com or Priceline. You’ll typically get the best rates when you book more than 3 months in advance, OR wait for the last 2 weeks before your departure. Look for a flight on a Tuesday or Wednesday (also typically the cheapest days of the week to fly) and then search up to 3 days in either direction to find the lowest price. Always get the flight insurance in case your plans change last minute. If you plan on traveling for a year, also consider a round-the-world (RTW) ticket.
6. Automate your finances. Contact organizations that bill you regularly and let them know you’ll be abroad and need to set up automatic payments. Otherwise set up online banking and auto bill-pay to send scheduled payments (at least $15-20 more than you anticipate to cover the unexpected) to your vendors, utilities, or credit card companies, etc. Cancel paper statements and have your banks & credit cards start sending you online statements to your email inbox.
7. At least 2 months in advance, give a trusted family member and/or your CPA power-of-attorney to sign important documents like tax filings and checks for you in your absence (sometimes they won’t accept a fax signature).
8. Have the post office forward your mail to a trusted friend or assistant who can sort through the junk and scan/summarize the important mail for you. Or set up EarthClassMail or another mail forwarding service (see more good tips from Rolph Potts).
9. Now is the time to take a technology dry run. If you need to be on the phone a lot, set up a free Skype account to make voice calls to other computer users around the world, and purchase SkypeOut credit to place direct calls to any cell phone or hard line around the globe for just 3 cents per minute (most locations). If you need remote access to your computer, try out GoToMyPC. Otherwise, consider setting up a portable office on your USB thumb drive that you can pop into any computer at the local internet café.
10. Prepare your financial accounts. Depending on the nature of your work, you might want to set up a PayPal account if you don’t already have one, to accept payments from around the globe via credit card or direct bank transfer. If people still send you paper checks, it’s convenient to have an account with a large bank like Bank of America, with branches near the person assisting you with deposits. For international travel, most vagabonds recommend a reliable international bank like HSBC (which has locations in most major international cities around the globe).
11. Consider hiring a virtual personal assistant (VA) if you don’t already have one. TimeSvr is a low-cost provider we use for many simple tasks during the month, such as phone calls, making reservations, quick travel searches, small research projects and article summaries. Also try AskSunday, Brickwork India, GetFriday, etc.
12. Scan your passport, visas, identification, health insurance & credit/debit cards into a computer. Carry a few copies in separate bags with you and leave a few copies with a trusted family member. Email the scanned files to yourself so that you can access them from abroad if you lose the hard copies. If you plan on moving from country-to-country, it’s a wise idea to bring several photocopies of your passport and several 2×4 passport photos for your visa applications on the road.
13. Downgrade to the cheapest cell phone plan or kill it altogether. Change your voicemail greeting to direct people to your email or Skype account. For instance, “Thanks for your call. I’m currently overseas on extended business travel. Please do not leave a voicemail message as I will not have access to check it while I am gone. If your message important, please contact me by email at ___@___.com. Thanks for your cooperation.” Then set up an email autoresponder to indicate your response could take several days (whatever your desired frequency) due to international travel.
14. If you really feel the need to be reachable, then consider a quad-band or GSM-compatible cell phone with an international calling plan (most of these plans are horrible though). Alternatively, purchase a SkypeIn number so that your clients/family can dial a traditional phone # that will call your Skype account or forward to your foreign cell phone. (Also look at Vonage and GrandCentral.)
15. Reserve a low cost hostel for your first few days abroad. For free accommodations check out GlobalFreeloaders or Couchsurfing. Hostel staff, fellow backpackers, and locals will be a helpful source of information for the best places to stay. Once you are in-country, check out the local Craigslist listings or do a Google search for apartments for rent (this is by far the most fun and cost-effective way to stay abroad). Additionally, Hospitality Club is a great site that lists locals who are willing to show you around, and Home Exchange is useful for those who want to swap homes with someone abroad for a few months!
16. One week out, Tim Ferriss recommends setting a self-imposed schedule “for routine batched tasks such as email, online banking, etc. to eliminate excuses for senseless pseudo-work procrasterbating. I suggest Monday mornings for checking email and online banking. The first & third Mondays of the month can be used for checking credit cards and making other online payments such as affiliates.”
17. Rent out or sell your home, or else end your apartment lease. If you don’t sell your car, follow Tim’s advice: “Put remaining automobiles into storage or a friend’s garage. Put fuel stabilizer in the gas tanks, disconnect the negative leads from batteries to prevent drain, and put the vehicles on jack stands to prevent tire and shock damage. Cancel all auto insurance except for theft coverage.”
18. Put all the rest of your stuff you didn’t eliminate into storage. Pack a single backpack or carry-on bag and move in temporarily with family or friends for the last few days before departure. To pack light, it’s best to set aside a small “settling-in fund”—maybe $300 to purchase clothes and necessities at your destination. Here is Tim’s great pack-list from the 4 Hour Workweek blog.

Let us help you learn how!

Put your business and your life on full autopilot. Check out BusinessBackpacker.com Services!

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