Alexander Solzhenitsyn said, “If you want to change the world, who do you begin with, yourself or others?”
I believe if we we begin with ourselves and do the things that we need to do and become the best person we can be, we have a much better chance of changing the world for the better.
Arianna Huffington
Inner desire to Change
When we aren’t in balance, we sense an inner desire to change. Where it comes from, I don’t know. Maybe it is our internal compass. Regardless, we begin to feel uncomfortable doing the same things that once brought us joy, happiness, and contentment. We are dissatisfied with the things or people around us and we don’t know what it is. Even before you begin identify what it is, you know: Something’s GOT To Change!
Desire to help others
Sometimes we get distracted and put our focus on helping those around us. Helping others feels good, and if we are making a difference, we should feel better, right? My answer to this might seem confusing. I would say that sometimes by helping others, we are actually just distracting ourselves from helping ourselves.
How many people do you know that seem to take care of everyone around them, but they neglect themselves? This can show up by weight gain, negative attitudes, illness, stress or just general fatigue. Some people turn to vices such as drugs, alcohol and cigarettes. One example I’m sure you have all seen is a doctor or nurse outside of their work smoking. How does this even make sense?
Where our efforts are best served…
Until we learn to take care of ourselves, our efforts are all for naught. I had heard this many times before but didn’t really understand what it meant. One day, I was listening to an inspirational CD and this question was posed:
If your energy was suddenly converted to money, you would have a certain amount in the bank. Let’s call this your Emotional Bank Account. Every time someone comes by and needs you, you give away a portion. Eventually, there is Nothing Left! How are you filling your emotional bank account?
The point was twofold. One is that we can’t just give away all that we’ve got. Two is that we need to sort out how to fill that account back up, or we aren’t any use to anyone around us!
Helping Ourselves
When we choose to help ourselves, we really are helping others. When we fill our life with activities that energize and motivate us, we fill up our emotional bank account. We actually Have More to Give!
- Take a moment to think of what activities bring you joy.
- When do you feel your happiest?
- What activities give you more energy?
- What moments bring you peace?
Your level of commitment to these activities Will Change Your Entire Life.
If you put these as your number one priority, you win. You will feel better, look better, and radiate joy. In essence, if you prioritize yourself, you become a better person on the planet.
Living as an example
The best thing you can do with your life is to live as an example of your own joy. Doing activities that bring you joy will keep you inspired. This shows, and soon other people around you will begin to see your enthusiasm. If they see someone inspired, it will catch on. You are changing the world by doing what you love and leading by example.
Letting others come to us
When I first started my business, I didn’t do this at all. I was taught to go running around and find people. I went all over for networking events. I became a public speaker. I just about made myself crazy trying to be everywhere all at once. What a nightmare!
When I decided that the best thing I could do was to take my own advice and live as an example, everything changed. I became more balanced. I set better boundaries with my time. I refused to participate in the drama. I could work on myself and my business and let people come to me.
I’ve now taken this approach with friendships, relationships, and opportunities. Rather than running all over the place, invite people to show up. Literally and figuratively, we can put out an intention and let it arrive.
Conclusion
By Living a inspirational lifestyle, you are saving the world. Your focus, friendships, and relationships will improve. You will have more energy to put towards your cause. You will be taking care of yourself and inspiring the world around you to do the same. Take a look through your list of activities that bring you joy and figure out where to put them in your schedule. Don’t forget to schedule these activities FIRST, because by helping yourself, you really are saving the world!! By building up your emotional bank account and living as an example, you will find that you actually have more to give back to everyone around you (what better example can you think of for changing the world?!?)
“Even vast sweeping social change has to start inside the mind and heart of one person at a time.”
–Lee Carrol, Indigo Children
Twitter Updates
17 November 2009 at 7:17 am
Sex, drugs and rock n’ roll bring me joy – Shame my loved ones don’t understand I do it for them
17 November 2009 at 12:55 pm
I often hear people claim that focusing on yourself is ‘selfish’. But I’d have to agree with you that an unhappy ‘me’ is not nearly as effective in making a difference in this world as a happy ‘me’.
It’s not selfish, it’s building a stronger, more confident foundation for your life that will allow all of your future efforts to have a deeper and more lasting effect on the world.
It is also about balance though. Concentrating solely on what gives you joy without ever thinking about benefiting others, might not prove so fulfilling in the end.
Your example is inspiring me, so thank you!
19 November 2009 at 6:14 am
Hey Brooke, this is a hot topic in my house. I am always quick to help others and in fact have helped others create some really cool things while my businesses linger on in the same stages. I take a Saturday project instead of heading to the beach to surf, etc.
Your post is cool and gives you that sense of I need to be doing some things for myself. Like Earl said its not selfish, its really making you a better and stronger person so that you can help even more people when the time comes.
I love the analogy of an emotional bank account. I think I am going to use that one and see what happens.
19 November 2009 at 6:27 am
Thank you for for high lightening this. Very inspiring to read and to remember that taking care of oneself is good for every body.
I like what you say in the conclusion: “By Living a inspirational lifestyle, you are saving the world. Your focus, friendships, and relationships will improve.”
That is what we try to do with our blog http://www.extendedworldtravel.com
Thanks
Magnus
19 November 2009 at 8:05 am
Spiritual teacher and ultimate peace-addict, Byron Katie, has a way of saying it… she say’s there’s 3 kinds of business:
1.) your business
2.) someone else’s business
3.) God’s business
When we’re in other people’s or God’s business, we stress ourselves out trying to control stuff we don’t have 100% control over. Just focus on your business, which is what you have 100% control over. And oddly, that’s the place where you’re most influential too.
Cath
21 November 2009 at 7:46 am
Excellent post, Brooke!
Taking your own advice is something that makes sense, for some reason, that is the last thing we do. I have been preaching the sermon of being yourself for years, yet I tried to be someone other than myself to please those around me, yet they were never pleased. It wasn’t until I swallowed my own medicine and committed to being myself regardless how anyone else felt about it, that I was able to please those around me.
It is very simple, you can’t give something you don’t have. If you’re not happy, you can’t give away happiness to others. One of my favorite author, Wallace D Wattles put it this way, almost a hundred years ago. “You can render to God and humanity no greater service than to make the most of yourself.”
Or as Gandhi said, “Be the change you seek in the world.”
Glad you’re finding your way around and attracting what you want and need.
Rasheed
21 November 2009 at 6:43 pm
@Chris – Maybe someday we can all be that enlightened :0) lol.
@Earl – Thanks for the comment! I agree, I think it is an ongoing process, focusing on becoming our best selves while we help to make positive change in the world. But I’m sure that it is more sustainable if we are first grounded in being the people we want, and then sharing that with the world. Cheers.
@Greg – I think one of the hardest parts about being a business owner, especially in the service industry, is knowing when to take time for ourselves. Try this: look at your schedule and plan time for yourself. Keep the date and time as though it were as important as you meeting with a celebrity! Because…we all know you are a rock star :0)
@Magnus – thanks for the comment. I think it is our job to continually check in with how we are feeling and use that as our internal compass. If we find we are starting to get irritated, be overly emotional, or just plain cranky, something is Wrong! We probably haven’t taken enough time for ourselves, and it begins to affect everyone around us. By taking the time to check in with ourselves, we are really doing everyone a Big Favor.
@Cath – Great point! I think whenever we are trying to control things, it is easy to lose sight of what is important. I’ve done that one before! We also can’t control other people’s reactions to us, and getting caught up in the drama can be a huge waste of time and big burn of our emotional bank accounts. However, if we do like you say and stay focused on our part, we are much more likely to feel happy and be fulfilled.
@Rasheed – I think it is all too easy to get caught up in trying to please others. Especially if we are a caring person, we want to help others and sometimes even at the sacrifice of not being our true self. I commend you on recognizing that and taking the difficult but necessary steps to make changes! Great quotes, and as always, thanks so much for commenting!
22 November 2009 at 12:00 pm
This post was fantastic! I’m absolutely going to keep the Emotional Bank Account in mind. Very, very inspiring. I think that a large part of the guilt that we feel if we aren’t giving everyone 100% can be related back to demanding societal expectations – we equate doing things with being productive. Therefore, if you aren’t doing things, you aren’t being productive and therefore you’ve somehow failed as a person. But sometimes, we really do need to just STOP, sit back for a minute, and be present in our lives….instead of just rushing through everything, checking items off the to-do list.
Thanks for a fantastic read, Brooke.
26 November 2009 at 10:10 pm
@Ash – I think one of the hardest things EVER is trying to detach ourselves from the American Notion that we aren’t worth anything unless we are producing something. Living in Thailand has been an interesting reality check for that. Almost Too Much of an extreme, some people seem to be a bit sedated, but it is an important lesson to learn. It has taken me awhile to ‘come down’ from the constant rushing around feeling that had become normal back home. Really, what are we in such a rush for, anyway?
8 December 2009 at 9:27 pm
“Changing Yourself, or Changing the World?” Why not both, and more?