I love it when I pick up the business section of the newspaper and something jumps off and hits me in the face. Today I came across this article written by Coach Kriengsak Nitpattanasai who has a column in the Bangkok Post.
Coaching by question and brain research
Nitpatanasai gives an overview of David Rock’s book Quiet Leadership: Help People Think Better–Don’t Tell Them What to Do.
All of my excited buttons went off simultaneously as I googled these gentleman. Mostly, for two reasons:
1. Their research and experience proves the questioning methodology of coaching works (and)
2. The book shows how our brains move ideas into action–or transformational change.
Throughout my MBA program, I was obsessed with the topic of Transformational Change (and still am!) and this is why I went into the field of Coaching / Consulting.
What is Transformational Change?
One definition is that it “requires altering and expanding the limiting mindset in which the individual (or) the organization operates.”
This is not just changing HOW an Individual does something, or adding a new idea to an existing set of tasks. We are Literally CHANGING THE WAY PEOPLE THINK. Changing the way they think about their lives, their limitations, and their possibilities.
Here is an example. Everyone Knows that they Should go to the gym, but most people continue to sit on the couch. They are tired. They can justify it. A nominal change might be that they take a step towards going to the gym. Maybe they buy workout clothing or shoes, or get a gym membership.
Transformational Change occurs when the person actually changes the way they think about the gym, and then continually and successfully go. Thinking has changed, therefore, results are achieved.
As a coach, this is what we do. We help speed up this process.
I really enjoyed reading this article, because it brought up two critical points:
We cannot tell people to come to a new conclusion
They have to come to it themselves. Inside all of our brains there are essentially road maps. The roads that exist are experiences or thought patterns that we have had before. If we want to go to a new destination (read: way of life, new way of thinking, way of living differently), our brain has to create a new road.
When we experience an epiphany or eureka moment… This Is Transformational Change! Our brains have essentially built a new road. And, lucky for us, our mindset has changed, meaning our behaviors can change, thereby changing our results.
We CAN lead people to their own conclusions
Telling someone what to do is about as effective as me explaining to you how to get to my house in Krabi, Thailand. You can’t even picture it, because you’ve never been here. Changing mindsets is relatively the same thing. By leading someone to their own conclusions by questioning, people can experience the awareness of putting a new thought into action.
Here’s an overview of Rock’s model:
Rock came up with a four-step model that has visual and audible clues to watch for when we’re trying to help people develop their own insights:
1. Awareness: When we face a problem or dilemma, our face looks a little unhappy or perplexed. Our eyes might squint slightly. We recognize we have a problem, we feel stuck. From a neuroscientific perspective, we have various mental maps in conflict. They have competing values, competing demand for resources, and the brain has not yet worked out how to resolve this conflict by creating a new metamap or by reconfiguring our existing maps.
2. Reflection: Your face changes. Most people look up, or slightly up and across, and have a dazed look on their face. Their forehead might tense up as they think more deeply. Nearly everyone becomes silent for a moment.
3. Illumination: There’s a rush of energy if it’s big idea, like Archimedes’ “eureka” moment.
4. Motivation: People’s eye movements show they are ready for action.
((This process is the most gratifying part of my job… watching the transformational change take place by the look on someone’s face.))
Coaching, in my view, isn’t about coming in and telling someone what to do. It is about meeting someone where they are at and giving them the skills they need to break through old ideas and limiting behaviors– thereby helping them to pave new roads to unlimited success.
Thoughts?
(Here’s a link to the book if you want to check it out…)
Twitter Updates
12 June 2010 at 3:53 pm
Great article, I can’t wait to read the book.
Having had the joy of working with you the past couple of years, I know firsthand the amazing changes one can make when working with the RIGHT coach. At 50, I have learned that I have the power to become, not a different person, but the person I want to be. It’s been a journey, but you’ve been holding my hand each time I stepped off the cliff. As a result, I have the life I always wanted, my business is thriving and virtually runs itself, I have time to pursue other dreams.
But the biggest miracle is the ripple effect.Through working with you, my employees, clients, friends and family have all been touched.That’s the real magic.Thanks.
13 June 2010 at 6:02 am
Wow! Thanks so much Lisa! What kind words and thanks for sharing with everyone else :0) It has been a pleasure to watch you grow. And, a joy to see you in a place of authority and peace. You are also my inspiration, never forget that!
17 June 2010 at 9:00 am
Hey Brooke, this is a really great article and something I really believe in too but never really had any good resources to read more on so I’m for sure going to check out the Quiet leadership book.
I’ve never done any type of formal coaching, but I have guinea pigged some friends into changing the way they think about some things. It’s fun for true.
22 June 2010 at 7:12 pm
Hey Brook,
I enjoyed this post very much. I laughed a bit when you mentioned in your Transformational Change section the part about going to the gym … how we convince ourselves we are making progress by getting the clothes or the gym membership but we never actually end up going!
And that happens way to often in life in general. The same could be said for those who want to live a life free of the 9-5 on their own terms in say, Thailand! We can read the blogs and books all we want on how to do it, but sometimes, you just need to do it! Of course, transformational change is much easier said than done at times, but we can all do it.
I hope your coaching is going well! I’d love to hear a post more about the business side of your blog – how are you attracting clients, who are you aiming for, what have you been learning etc? What strategies in coaching and consulting have you used that have been truly effective or not so much?
Okay, well, time for me to go walk around crazy streets of Beijing – hope you’re enjoying the beautiful beaches of Krabi!
- Lauren
27 June 2010 at 2:33 pm
Awesome post, Brooke,
Loved the four step process of transformation. I can see how that has happened in my life so many times.
Rasheed
28 June 2010 at 11:32 pm
Hi Doug, yes, I was very excited to see this article. For some reason I find it so relieving when a scientist or psychologist proves what I’ve always believed to be true! I know I’ve experienced this, but to further understand what is happening (and why) is very fascinating! Thanks for commenting.
Lauren, Thanks for writing
Yes, we are all prone to know what to do, and even take steps in that direction, but then STOP when things become unfamiliar or when we get scared. One of the reasons why I’ve studied behavioral change so much is I am fascinated why we stop ourselves in the midst of change. I am guilty of it, myself–and have learned how to recognize when I begin to freeze up, and then start to identify why. There’s a great chart that I’ll add in one of the upcoming posts that identifies the “Change Process” and I’ve found it very helpful to determine what to do next (with myself, as well as my clients).
I cover the business side of things and the “How To’s” with my clients, but look for more development there in upcoming months! I’m working on some exciting stuff that I will speak more about soon
Until then, enjoy China, and ‘see’ you online. I’ve been peeking at flights to China, how’s the weather in October??
Rasheed – I’m sure it has
Especially when we are proactive in our lives and looking for the answers. I think if I had to sum up my purpose on earth it would be transformational change. I love everything about it– well, except that it is hard!! Good to hear from you :0)
5 September 2010 at 8:13 am
In my process with a COACH everything is happening so fast. As I allways wanted.