if you can’t see this video, click here

The Difference Between What We are Told and Reality

I really love this video and recording of Alan Watts because it so quickly encapsulates all of the emotions I’ve struggled with throughout my life.  We go into life not knowing any better, so we do what we’re told.  We continue along this path and at some point wake up to the reality that

a) our lives are relatively boring and mediocre

b) all of the people we’ve followed on this path aren’t especially happy or fulfilled and

c) this is not our path

((in comes panic, questioning the meaning of life, feeling genuinely ripped off, confused, and directionless))

Maybe you’ve felt this disenchantment in your life?

Personally, I’ve become disenchanted with the whole ‘game’ of being endlessly strung along for little reward.  The comfort isn’t really worth the reward in most situations, and continually trying to reach the next dangling carrot becomes less and less rewarding.

What’s Next?  What Can We Do?

Obviously, we’re still here, so we have to do something, RIGHT?

So what do we do when we become disenchanted with the ‘game of life’?

In my opinion, we rewrite it. Just like this video says, we’ve forgotten what life’s all about.  We’ve forgotten to be the composer of our own life story.  We’ve forgotten to enjoy life, and we’ve forgotten to dance.

Rewriting the Song of your Life

Now imagine if your life was a song, and you were to begin writing the song of your life.  You would consider it a thing of beauty, a joy to create, and a gift to share with others.

How might your life be different if you were to change your focus?

What if getting things done faster wasn’t the goal?

What if you could enjoy the process?

How much better would your song be?

As always, bringing you inspiring stories of adventurous folks that have dared to do different.  Many of you may have wondered if you could take your business online and do good for others.  Kirsty’s living the dream of helping others while her business pretty much runs itself.  Check out her story, and amazing resources below.

When you first thought about volunteering, what were your initial hesitations?

I had looked into volunteering long before I ever did it and the main thing stopping me at that time was the cost. Everything I found online seemed to cost loads of money which put me off of the idea completely. Once I found Hands On Disaster Response (http://www.hodr.org) (a free-to-volunteer NGO) and committed to volunteering with them in Bangladesh, I remember my main concern was whether the other volunteers would all be do-gooder types. It seems strange but my only real concern was being stuck in Bangladesh with a bunch of people who were no fun!

How did that change after experiencing it first-hand?

As it turns out, most of the people I’ve met through volunteering have been just a little crazy and a blast to be around. The people I’ve met have been some of the hardest working, most talented, intelligent and creative people I’ve known. They come from all over the world, have a wide array of backgrounds and skills, and have ranged in age from 18 to 78. The thing everyone has in common is a passion for what they’re doing and it makes getting along with everyone very easy. Some of the strongest friendships I have now have come through volunteering.

What unique experiences have you had volunteering that you otherwise wouldn’t have had just traveling?

I’ve been invited into many people’s homes in places way off the tourist trail in Bangladesh, Indonesia, and Haiti and met and mingled with locals on a level that I’m not sure a tourist passing through could. I’ve been taken to a vodou ceremony with a Haitian friend of mine, stood on the sidelines at a football match in Haiti, been invited to weddings and funerals, had countless locals bring me snacks, tea and full meals on our breaks, and been welcomed into their communities with ceremonies and parties.

I’m sure any traveler who puts in an effort could encounter experiences like these but those travellers are rare these days with most opting to stick to the usual backpacker trail. Volunteering makes it easy to have these sort of experiences almost every day.

As a volunteer you’re also doing good work and seeing a local person thanking you for your help with tears in their eyes isn’t something you’re likely to see as a traveler.

How do you cover your expenses during your time volunteering abroad (flights, accommodation, food, travel)?

Most of the longer-term volunteering I’ve done has been with HODR who cover food and accommodation costs. HODR do disaster relief work which makes predicting their next destination impossible. I’ve been following them around for four projects from Bangladesh to Haiti, from Haiti to Indonesia and then back to Haiti after the recent earthquake. The airfares are my biggest expense but, once I get to the project, I don’t spend much at all.

I cover the cost of my flights and other expenses with money I earn online. I run a bunch of websites and get money from advertising, paid clicks and affiliate sales. When I’m volunteering and not spending much money I’m able to build my bank account back up before draining it again on another flight!

What types of projects have worked on?

I’ve done all sorts of things from teaching english to building schools to running wheelbarrows. The type of work we do depends on the type of disaster. In Bangladesh we built houses and playgrounds after a cyclone. In Haiti the first time the bulk of the work was shoveling mud out of people’s homes after four hurricanes struck at once, filling the city of Gonaives with mud. In Indonesia and Haiti this time, we cleared destroyed houses from people’s foundations so they could have their space back to put a shelter.

I’ve also painted a school, built wells, learned how to work with concrete, helped frame houses, taken photos, helped set up HODR with affiliate programs, put tin onto a roof, installed wooden signboards, and on and on. The work is generally really physical day in, day out but there are usually other things to get up to besides shoveling and wheelbarrowing and the things I’ve done only touch on the many possibilities.

How has volunteering helped you?

I’ve gotten so much out of my time as a volunteer that it sometimes feels like I get more than I can give. I’ve learned new skills, met people from all over the world, been able to practice new languages, gotten fit, had my mind opened through amazing conversations and, I hope, become a more well-rounded person in the process.

How have you made money online while traveling abroad?

I started a travel website (http://www.travoholic.com) way back in 2001 when few people were making money online. I worked at it on and off as a hobby for years and in 2005 I discovered Google Adsense (basically ads that I can put on my site that pay a certain amount per click). I realized then the potential for earning online and started a few more sites. I’ve currently got around 10 websites that make money through Adsense, affiliate sales (selling travel insurance, car rentals etc.) or through advertising.

The business pretty much runs itself which leave me with a lot of time to fill with traveling or doing volunteer work. I try to work on the road but the reality is that it’s pretty tough with dodgy net connections and a lot of distractions. When I’m in the mood to get a good amount of work done, I will stop in a city I like, rent an apartment, and work hard for a while. When I want to volunteer or travel, I will do that and spend only a small amount of time maintaining my sites.

If people are interested in volunteering abroad, what resources would you recommend?

Funny you should ask! I wrote an ebook called ‘The Underground Guide to International Volunteering’ that can be downloaded from my website (http://www.nerdynomad.com/volunteering). It’s a guide for people who want to volunteer but aren’t sure how to go about it. I talk about whether or not volunteering is for you, who would make a good volunteer, paying to volunteer, how to find free and cheap volunteering opportunities, give some practical advice and I also have a list of volunteering opportunities that have been tried and tested.

The ebook costs $14 with $7 of every sale being donated to HODR, a cause that is obviously very close to me and one I believe in a lot. If you’ve been thinking about volunteering and aren’t sure where to start, this ebook will help you.

((Author’s note:  I’ve had the pleasure of reading this eBook and would Highly Recommend it.  It is full of great information, links, and inspiring photos.  Click on the photo to see more.))

Got Questions for Kirsty?  Ask them in the comments section!!  Had a cool volunteering experience?  Share it Below.

Coaching by question and brain research

Nitpatanasai gives an overview of David Rock’s book Quiet Leadership:  Help People Think Better–Don’t Tell Them What to Do.

All of my excited buttons went off simultaneously as I googled these gentleman.  Mostly, for two reasons:

1.  Their research and experience proves the questioning methodology of coaching works (and)

2.  The book shows how our brains move  ideas into action–or transformational change.

Throughout my MBA program, I was obsessed with the topic of Transformational Change (and still am!) and this is why I went into the field of Coaching / Consulting.

What is Transformational Change?

One definition is that it “requires altering and expanding the limiting mindset in which the individual (or) the organization operates.”

This is not just changing HOW an Individual does something, or adding a new idea to an existing set of tasks.  We are Literally CHANGING THE WAY PEOPLE THINK.  Changing the way they think about their lives, their limitations, and their possibilities.

Here is an example.  Everyone Knows that they Should go to the gym, but most people continue to sit on the couch.  They are tired.  They can justify it.  A nominal change might be that they take a step towards going to the gym.  Maybe they buy workout clothing or shoes, or get a gym membership.

Transformational Change occurs when the person actually changes the way they think about the gym, and then continually and successfully go.  Thinking has changed, therefore, results are achieved.

As a coach, this is what we do.  We help speed up this process.

I really enjoyed reading this article, because it brought up two critical points:

We cannot tell people to come to a new conclusion

They have to come to it themselves.  Inside all of our brains there are essentially road maps.  The roads that exist are experiences or thought patterns that we have had before.  If we want to go to a new destination (read: way of life, new way of thinking, way of living differently), our brain has to create a new road.

When we experience an epiphany or eureka moment… This Is Transformational Change!  Our brains have essentially built a new road.  And, lucky for us, our mindset has changed, meaning our behaviors can change, thereby changing our results.

We CAN lead people to their own conclusions

Telling someone what to do is about as effective as me explaining to you how to get to my house in Krabi, Thailand.  You can’t even picture it, because you’ve never been here.  Changing mindsets is relatively the same thing.  By leading someone to their own conclusions by questioning, people can experience the awareness of putting a new thought into action.

Here’s an overview of Rock’s model:

Rock came up with a four-step model that has visual and audible clues to watch for when we’re trying to help people develop their own insights:

1. Awareness: When we face a problem or dilemma, our face looks a little unhappy or perplexed. Our eyes might squint slightly. We recognize we have a problem, we feel stuck. From a neuroscientific perspective, we have various mental maps in conflict. They have competing values, competing demand for resources, and the brain has not yet worked out how to resolve this conflict by creating a new metamap or by reconfiguring our existing maps.

2. Reflection: Your face changes. Most people look up, or slightly up and across, and have a dazed look on their face. Their forehead might tense up as they think more deeply. Nearly everyone becomes silent for a moment.

3. Illumination: There’s a rush of energy if it’s big idea, like Archimedes’ “eureka” moment.

4. Motivation: People’s eye movements show they are ready for action.

((This process is the most gratifying part of my job… watching the transformational change take place by the look on someone’s face.))

Coaching, in my view, isn’t about coming in and telling someone what to do.  It is about meeting someone where they are at and giving them the skills they need to break through old ideas and limiting behaviors– thereby helping them to pave new roads to unlimited success.

Thoughts?

(Here’s a link to the book if you want to check it out…)

IF

by

Rudyard Kipling

1865 – 1936

If you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

But make allowance for their doubting too;

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,

Or being hated don’t give way to hating,

And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream–and not make your dreams your master;

If you can think–and not make thoughts your aim,

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

And treat those two impostors just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken

Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,

And stoop and build ‘em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

And never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

To serve your turn long after they are gone,

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!”

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,

Or walk with Kings–nor lose the common touch,

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,

If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,

Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,

And–Which is more–you’ll be a Man, my son!

I made a picture of myself with straight, highlighted hair.  I wore a suit skirt outfit with a collared shirt and fancy shoes.   I made comments along the side of this image like “long hair” or “get braces”.  In my picture, I had a briefcase and was smiling.

I looked down at my current status and sighed.  I was going to have to go from cargo pants, hoodies and flip flops to a whole ‘nother me.

I was going to have to change a lot…Or Was I???

Well, truth be told, I thought I had to.  I got the suits, the shirts, the briefcase, and went to the salon.  I started my business and went to networking events.  I had my perfect business cards and my first real website.  I got clients, speaking opportunities, and I got Noticed.

But not really in the way that I wanted to be…

Some part of me felt off.  It wasn’t really even something I could place at the time, but it was as though I was trying to be some “better” version of myself; but maybe not the right one.

When I packed my bag for Thailand, I can assure you there were no suites (other than bathing suits), no collared shirts, and my fancy shoes were a pair of Reef flip flops that I got on sale for $7.

While it took awhile, I slowly shed the seriousness of my past-professional-self, and started settling back into me. I started doing the things I used to love but had become a bit too ‘caught up’ to do before.

• I started diving again, climbing more, dancing, having wild nights out, letting myself enjoy a cold beer, and playing pool.
• My highlighted hair grew out and faded into its natural sun-streaked self.  My skin cleared, my mind cleared and my calendar cleared.
• I’ve spent the past 14 months traveling, writing, sunning, and generally enjoying life.

You can imagine my shock when I was contacted by Discovery Channel to be interviewed and featured on their show.  Even as I made arrangements, appointments and scheduled filming dates, I didn’t believe it was really happening.

I was going to be on TV??!!

We spent two days filming.  The first day was rock climbing.  This was a comedy of errors, trying to get ropes up, cameras up, crew members that were afraid of heights on the rock. Meanwhile, the host, Janet, and I were climbing (with one rope and only two people to belay).  We wrapped up climbing and I did my interview on the trail by the rocks that overlook the ocean.

Day two, the whole crew came to my place.  We filmed driving on my motorbike, which was a near disaster.  I haven’t ever had a passenger, and just learning to drive, I wasn’t quite ready for a camera crew to be following alongside in a tuk-tuk that was running me into oncoming traffic whilst filming.  We walked around the beaches, shopped and finished the day out with my birthday party at my friend’s restaurant.

My Old Self…

My old self would’ve been concerned with my hair, or what I would wear.  But for some reason I actually didn’t care at all.  For climbing, I wound my hair up, had an old pair of sweatpants that my friend gave me, and had on a $5 sports bra shirt.

The second day, we needed to pack quickly for the scene, so I wadded up a cheap beach dress and stuffed it into my bag.  That’s what I wore to the party, with a pair of $2 flip flops I bought from 7-11 six months ago.  I had on no makeup, and I simply let my hair down… in more ways than one.

The night was a fantastic success… and I felt a new sense of satisfaction… I could be famously myself.

I think the best part about this entire experience was that I knew every aspect was 100% me.  My biggest takeaways from this experience were:

• You don’t have to try so hard.
• The more you become yourself, the more people will seek you out.
• Trying to portray a perfect image is meaningless and exhausting.  At the end of the day, people want to be around someone who is relaxed, confident, and authentic.
• By leading an authentic life, you can become a true inspiration to everyone.

I’m very grateful for this opportunity and found it incredibly exciting as a Lifestyle Coach to be a guest on a world renowned travel and leisure show.  I’ll let you all know the details of when it is going to air, and hopefully you can check it out!  Thanks for your ongoing props and support!!

William James

There’s a lot of talk these days about the Law of Attraction.  Many books are out there discussing how to focus your thoughts and get what you want by thinking positive thoughts.  More importantly than just focusing on the stuff that you want, I believe that the quality of our life comes from the quality of our thoughts.  It is as simple as this:  if you spend the bulk of your day having pleasant thoughts, you will have a good day.  On the contrary, if you have miserable thoughts, your day will suck.  We all have moments of getting caught up in the drama of our lives, so here are some quick tips of things I’ve learned to begin to change your thinking.

Observing Your Thoughts

Our minds are like any environment.  The conditions need to be right for good ideas to grow.  Thoughts grow from having an open mind and ‘can do’ attitude.  Try to observe the thoughts you have and notice what patterns come up. If it is too difficult at first to notice your thinking, listen to the words you say about different topics.  Are you closing down to people, experiences, or certain areas of your life?  What areas do you find yourself saying the words “I can’t”?  Get to know the areas of your life that you seem defensive about.  Where are your buttons pushed, and by whom?

Noticing Patterns

Once you have begun to notice your thoughts, the next step is to observe any patterns that go along with them.  Because every action has an equal and opposite reaction, see what you are reacting to.  Patterns of behavior are more predictable than you think.  Take a moment to consider your reactions to the following questions:

When things go “wrong” what do I do?

What people seem to get under my skin?  Why?

What areas of my life seem to always “go wrong”?

Linking Your Thinking to your Feelings

A great indicator of our thinking is our feelings.  If we are feeling frustrated, upset, or just having an off day, it is worth exploring our thought processes.  When we take time to get to know our own emotional reactions, we can learn more about ourselves and where we are staying stuck. Rather than responding to unfavorable situations and escalating the tension, try to remain calm, and explore your emotional reaction later during quiet time.

I recently had a situation where a friend really upset me.  I have been reading three different books about mind training and decided to try to do what they said.  I remained calm, focused on my breathing, and tried to not take it personally.  Later, I spent quite a bit of time going through the scenario in my head.  Rather than asking myself “Why did they say that to me?” I asked myself, “Why am I so reactive to that comment?”

I continued to ask questions and dig deeper until I found the source of the pain.  I realized I was being reactive to a comment because it made me feel devalued.  Because I had a strong reaction to males making me feel this way growing up, I experienced pain.  I spent time working through these older issues and realized what my friend had actually given me was a gift.  I had an opportunity to realize an old pattern, find the root cause, and forgive an old situation I had been holding onto for years!

Many of us have these Reactive Filters.  We react strongly, or overreact to people in situations that remind us of old hurts.  We try to justify our own behavior by lashing out or making the situation worse.  We do have the choice to turn hurtful situations into learning opportunities.  We can sit uncomfortably through moments and find the source later.  We can notice how these reactive behaviors are keeping us stuck and determine to work through them.  Next time you feel you are getting your buttons pushed, look deeper to see where the root of this thought process is coming from, and see if you can reprogram your old pattern.

Reprogramming our Thoughts for Better Results

The less reactive we are, the less drama that surrounds our lives.  When we can go into our own lives and take responsibility for our reactions, we free up space for better patterns.  By reprogramming our thoughts, we improve the quality of our lives.  We learn how to find more enjoyable thoughts to focus on throughout the day.  And, the better our thoughts, the happier our days.

“The calm man, having learned how to govern himself, knows how to adapt himself to others; and they, in turn, reverence his spiritual strength, and feel that they can learn of him and rely upon him.  The more tranquil a man becomes, the greater is his success, his influence, his power for good.”

-James Allen, As a Man Thinketh

As luck (or the Universe) would have it, the second I got back down here and announced my new goal, Kris piped up with, “That’s what I went to school for, I’m a certified Personal Trainer.”  My heart leapt.  Part for sheer JOY of How Quickly the Universe Responds, and part ‘cause I was scared shitless.

You see, I’ve been living in a world class climbing destination.  I have climbed on and off for about nine years.  Two years ago I threw my back out.  This led me to telling myself this story:

Climbing is like crack to me.  I’m a huge addict and don’t know when to stop.  I’m not competitive in sports with other people, but I’m hugely competitive with myself.  If you’ve read my post, How to Slow Down and Take Smaller Steps, it became very apparent to me that I needed to change my expectations about what climbing would be like after an injury.  Going slow is really hard for me, and sucking at something I used to be good at is even harder. So, before, when I would go to the climbing gym, I would push it.  I would push too hard and hurt myself again.  I was STUCK in this never-ending cycle of going too hard, injuring myself, taking too long to recover, and then going right back at it.

Something needed to change!!  I pretty much gave up climbing and focused primarily on activities I knew I could do:  hiking, biking, swimming, thai chi, and chi gung.  While all of these activities are good, they aren’t climbing.  I like the feeling of ascension.  I crave it.  I’m a little bit crazy and sometimes climbing walls is the only thing that calms me down.

So now, I’m done with my Old Story, and ready to Make Friends With Pain.  With a little help from my friends, I’ve come to understand that incredible stuff happens when you work with a coach.  While I’ve heard some of this stuff from my clients before, I had yet to really experience it for myself.  I recommend that all of you find out where you are holding yourself back, declare a new goal, and get some help from an expert. I’m excited to share with you some big transformations that have already taken place from this process and help to answer the question:  What happens when I work with a Coach??

Guidance

– Like me, you may want to achieve more than you currently have, but you don’t know how.  You feel stuck, frustrated, and like you are in some kind of holding tank.  You want to do more.  You are tired of Doing It All By Yourself.

Technique

– Sometimes all it takes is to modify what you are already doing and make small adjustments.  There were exercises that I had COMPLETELY Ruled Out because of my injuries.  Kris has shown me how to do proper technique so I don’t hurt myself.  He’s helping me build opposing muscles so I can handle more weight.

Personalized Program

– I used to train with a group when I did Rowing in college.  I loved the comradery, but I never felt like I was learning specific individual skills.  I didn’t know how to best use my strength, train my body type, or give myself rest days.  Working with an individual coach speeds up progress.

Accountability

– Sometimes the best thing is that someone else is showing up.  I know I have a time slot going and someone else is going to be there.  My friend is working out with me.  I need to be accountable.

Commitment

– I’m not going to lie, some days I just don’t want to do it.  I’m tired, my body hurts, I’m exhausted.  But, just the sheer fact that Someone Else Is Committed to ME keeps me going.  I’ve done more just because I knew someone else believes in me.

Motivation

– We do more when we are motivated.  When someone else is giving us help, a stern look, or a ‘come on, you can do it!’ we rise to the challenge.  We dig down and pull from somewhere we didn’t know existed.

Changing the Idea of What You Thought Was Possible

– When someone else is encouraging us to reach new heights, they are changing our ideas of what we even thought was possible.  Suddenly the Impossible seems Possible.  We get stronger.  The old possibilities seem small by comparison and we learn to think bigger, press onward, and challenge ourselves more.

Excuses

– All of these skills help us to overcome our Old Stories, or excuses we used to tell.  When I would hear myself telling my Old Story, I hated it.  Even as it came out of my mouth, it seemed like such a weak excuse.  I didn’t like talking about “my injury” or identifying with something that felt weak.  When we no longer need to justify our Old Story, it opens us up for a total change of thinking.

Change in Mindset

– One interesting thing that happens working with a coach is that you can eventually hear their voice in your own head.  I’ll be doing curls on my own and hear “Relax your shoulders.  Keep your abs in.”  That voice wasn’t there before!!  When you begin to hear their voice as your own, something very special has happened.  You have changed your entire outlook about the topic.  You have reached a level where you can begin to coach yourself!!

What are the areas in YOUR LIFE that you would like to improve?

What Old Stories have you been telling yourself to Stay Stuck?

How could you benefit by getting a Coach?

What would it FEEL LIKE to move past your Old Stories and realize a WHOLE NEW YOU??!!

This month’s  mini-view comes from Cath Duncan, life coach, writer, and author of the blog site Mine Your Resources.   Her site is one of my favorites, and I land there often, whenever I need a ‘Pick Me Up’ or some inspiration for life.  Cath is a great example of someone living an unconventional life with a business that will travel.  She also has a wonderful charity project her and her husband are working on, learn more by reading Extreme African Adventures and How to Create More Meaning in Your Life.

What is your passion and how are you sharing it with the world?

I’m most passionate about Agile Living and helping people to develop the mind and life management skills that’ll enable them learn and change easily, so they can thrive in a high-change world and create the life they want.

The main thing that gets in the way of us learning and changing easily and being who we want to be is fear, so I love helping people to develop a positive, resourceful relationship with their fears. Fear is an incredibly resourceful emotion and it only expands when we try to ignore or fight it, so I teach people how to mine the resources in their fears, so they can create the life they want.

One of my main projects is the Bottom-line Bookclub, where I help people to accelerate, deepen and apply their personal development learning by providing learning programs that give them the Bottom-line on the highest-leverage ideas and the most effective change tools in the best personal development books.

I also coach people one-on-one through major changes they’re making or wanting to make, and I share a lot about how to learn and change more easily on my blog, Mine Your Resources and in the monthly free expert teleseminars that I host.

Where in the world are you now and how did you end up there?

I’m living with my husband, Andy, in Cape Town, South Africa for a few months and we’ll head off again in the new year. We’re still deciding our next location. We’re keen to live somewhere we haven’t lived before – there’s still so much of the world we want to see.

I work online, because that’s the most agile small business model I’ve found and it allows me to easily change my location and other big parts of my life and keep doing the work I love doing, without having to start all over again with building my business.

What would you say was the most challenging part of getting to where you are now?

I found it really hard to uncover what sort of work I wanted to do. Creating and working has always been very important to me – even as a child, I was unusually “productive” and created little projects for myself.

We’re taught to look at the different categories of jobs that already exist in the world, choose one to do for the rest of your life, and then go and follow the linear, pre-determined path into that job by doing the “right” training, starting in the “right” junior jobs to get the “right” experience, and then working your way up, making a life-long career out of it. I guess this process suits some people, but it didn’t work for me, and I think it’s rapidly becoming outdated in our high-change world. At some point I realized that I didn’t want to try to fit myself into a job because I couldn’t find one that I felt I could fit well enough into, and I realized that I needed to invent my own work and workstyle around the values that were important to me and the activities I loved doing.

That sounds simple and straightforward, but getting clear on my values and what I loved doing, and then creating a platform and the necessary scaffolding to make it possible to get paid to do it has been way tougher and has taken a lot longer than I’d thought it would. I didn’t realize that it was going to take so much soul-searching and I didn’t expect all the existential and identity crises that it triggered. And when it comes to setting up the systems and scaffolding to make a successful business out of the stuff I love doing, it’s been a relentless and steep curve of continuous personal and professional learning. It’s probably a good thing that I was so naive, or else I might never have taken the leap!

Inspiring words and advice for others interested in going global & putting lifestyle first…

1.) Live lean.

You don’t need all the “things” that the media says you need, in order to be happy, and that stuff just creates the pressure for you to work harder and longer so you can earn more money and buy that stuff you think you need. You can create a lot of financial freedom by dropping the desire for “building a fort” and collecting stuff.

2.) Realize that the quality of your life is all about the quality of your thinking.

The only way you can experience the world or decide what to create in the world is through your own thoughts, so your greatest resource is your own ability to think. Developing your ability to use your whole mind is the most important investment you can make. Don’t skimp on developing your thinking, and be willing to review and renew your thinking by questioning your assumptions often.

3.) Prioritize action over planning.

You can do all the research and reading in the world, but most of the things that’ll make the biggest difference in your happiness and success in life can’t be controlled or planned, and at the end of the day knowledge is worthless unless you use it and take action.

Connect With Cath:

http://www.mineyourresources.com/
http://twitter.com/cathduncan
http://twitter.com/bottomlinebkclb

and… Don’t forget to check out her Bottom-line Bookclub!  Cath is running a special till December 18th for a 2 for 1 six month gift subscription! Click below for details!!
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It’s funny, but I never thought about it as not fitting in, simply as following my dream. I knew that I wanted more from my life than staying in a job I wasn’t enjoying simply to earn money. Luckily, my husband also shares that vision, so it was simply a matter of planning our escape.

Oh, that’s a tough question. I’ve learned so much from everywhere I’ve been. But if I had to pick one, it would be Nimes, France, where I spent almost a full year at the age of 21. It was the farthest from home I’d been and I didn’t know anyone – a great way to find out what you’re made of. It wasn’t always easy, but I learned a lot, both about the value of stepping out of your comfort zone once in a while and the danger of stereotyping (I was on the receiving end, but it made me determined to avoid doing the same to others).

A lot of people are only too ready to say how crazy it is to leave friends and family behind and move halfway around the world. Ignore them. Make sure your business is portable and then choose the life you want – you only get one shot, so you might as well enjoy it. It’s always better to try something than to wonder what would have happened if you did.

http://www.slideshare.net/sharonhh/sharon-hurley-hall-intro

July 23, 2007

In a way, starting your own business is like being dropped off on an island. You wake up – half conscious and water logged to utter confusion, heat, and lack of resources. I am quite sure that in every true marooned story that there must be a point of disparity; a point where the person realizes for the first time that they are alone and have to figure out how to make it. I feel I am now at that point.

In the beginning, there is the moment of confusion and loss. Next, the feelings of disparity and instinctive survival. Now, the basics have been covered and it is more of a subtle feeling of abandonment. Yet, all the while, I have had a sense that there will be a day where it all comes together. The shelter works, the fishing is getting better, and the overall feeling of defeat has started to fade. But one thing will not shake. It is that constant feeling of wondering and yearning for a time for everything to be easy. Easy as it once was and I long to feel that way again. I want the worry to be gone and the dull nagging pain of abandonment to go away.

This “shipwrecked” feeling of entrepreneur-ism must be normal.

 However, as I look to research books and company stories, they all glamorize the founders, owners, and CEO’s as a bunch of cool cats that have their acts together and knew it would work all along. Soon, venture capitol folks were just lining up to hand over the millions to invest. It all sounds too easy. It seems to almost belittle the entire experience. When I am famous, I want my biography to depict the disparity. To utter the words of confusion and lament the discouraging times. To dictate to those that want to know – No, it was not actually easy. I had to convince myself on a daily basis that I was not insane and get up and do it all over again, whether there was money or not. To try to build up a case that this program worked and that it worked well enough for others to invest. Not jut to invest in the program, but more importantly to invest in themselves.

I wish at times that I could just fast forward to my future just to make sure everything would work and be OK. Better than OK, that all of my hard work got me to the point of abundance through changing lives of people I care about.

Now…

… Now, just a short time later, I am living more closely to island life. But not the dropped off and deserted kind. More of the tourist / vacationer / travel writer type. I am in a much different place, not just physically, but mentally. Maybe because I have relaxed—stopped trying to push things, and can take my time. I have helped those wonderful clients that have crossed my path and now on the days that I get down or my spirits start to wane, I remind myself of the personal transformations that have occurred and I am somehow calmed.

Reminds me of a line from a movie…When do I give up?

The Answer: “Never. You NEVER Give Up.”