“The cause of any and all stress in my life has largely been due to the belief that I was somehow responsible for other people or things outside of my control.”

Let’s face it: this world can be scary, unpredictable, and changes ALL THE TIME. This is why we have learned that “The only constant IS CHANGE”. So, living in a world of constant change and unending variables leads us to wanting to create a protected and predictable place to live. We find ourselves wanting to gain control of our situations and thereby make our environment safe. While this is a natural tendency, control can (and does) work against us. It affects our business, our relationships, but most importantly our stress level.

When we attempt to control (things, situations, or people), we begin to take ownership for the results. With ownership comes responsibility in which we turn into personal responsibility. By assuming personal responsibility, we take on the role of ownership; and if you own it, you must have to fix it. Our culture and society is one based on having a high level of personal responsibility for the things in our lives and we assume it is our duty to manage every aspect of our lives perfectly at all times. The result: massive stress.

Control -> Ownership -> Personal Responsibility -> The Need to Fix = STRESS

The Stress Relief that I am here to offer you is this concept:

“If you don’t OWN it, you don’t have to FIX it.”

The reality is that many things are outside of our control. For this reason, the only real responsibility we have is our reaction to what is happening around us. I discuss this quite frequently with my clients in the “Behavior” part of my program. If we have been conditioned to ‘Find Fault and Fix’ our whole lives, guess what? We are bound for unhappiness! We will never be satisfied with how things are, how people are, or where we are in our lives.

Many of us are so conditioned to ‘Find Fault and Fix’ other people because it gives us the excuse of not focusing on ourselves. We can easily waste energy and time analyzing and gossiping about the lives of others when we would be better served focusing on our own.

However, you may have already concluded that we also have a tendency to play the ‘Find Fault and Fix’ role in our own lives. I believe at a moderate level, this has been engrained in our personalities to move us towards evolution. However, as a society, we have taken it to the extreme resulting in the “Nothing Is Ever Good Enough” feeling. Have you ever felt this way? Do you think that you are good enough? Right now, without changing anything, do you feel good enough? Are you deserving? Do you feel worthy of success?

Many of us are stuck on the treadmill of “After I do/ achieve/ obtain __________, then I will be worthy. But it is that feeling that is keeping you from success, from happiness, from achieving your best life now. We need to recognize this pattern and take heed! Pay attention to the fact that we are trying to fix something that isn’t broken. We are much further today then we were yesterday. Stop for a moment and give yourself credit for that. You are evolving, and you are also right where you need to be.

By realizing that most of the stress that we put upon ourselves is imagined, we begin our journey to personal freedom. I love the title of a book I recently picked up entitled, “Relax, You’re Already Perfect”.

If we can give ourselves the gift of letting go, we can learn to relax. As stress goes down, we are exceedingly more creative, productive, and enthusiastic about life. This also pertains to our success at work and in relationships. If we can give others the gift of accepting them for who they are, right now, we let them relax. People tend to be more inclined to make change and share their gifts in a relaxed environment. The continual need to intervene in other’s lives is a form of caring, but it can also be seen as a form of control. I have had to learn this one the hard way—which is why I’m sharing this with you now.

Take a moment to reflect on your life and relationships and ask yourself the following questions:

Do I react emotionally when something doesn’t go ‘as planned’?

Do people often fail to meet my expectations?

Have I ever let myself be satisfied with my life- just because?

Does this pressure stress me out?

Do I have extremely high expectations for myself?

The thing is, it doesn’t really matter where I am going.  I love to fly.  I love everything about it (well, except security checks).  I love packing.  I am one of those nuts that has everything packed and zipped up days before a trip.  I can’t even wait! I love going to the airport.  I love getting my e-ticket.  I love wondering who I will meet on the plane (and have made several new BFF’s just by sitting next to them for one trip).  But, my favorite part of flying is thinking about whatever local drama I’m involved in when I’m leaving the airport and as the plane taxies down the runway and begins to take flight, it all disappears like little bits of wispy clouds we part through.  My mind becomes calm, and I look out over the sea of clouds and see the beautiful sun and know, sometimes for the first time in years, that everything is going to be alright.

I get calm, and then I get excited for the journey and the destination.  I regain my SENSE OF SELF and I am finally able to drop any attachment to the world below and I let myself fly through imagination land where the sun is always shining above the clouds.

To me, travel is magical.  I am so alive when I go somewhere new.  I talk to strangers, ask people where to eat, and learn from the locals what I should do.  I try new food.  I fill my senses with new sights, smells, and people watching.  I feast on the art of life and try to soak it into every single pore of my very being, right into my soul.  I love every second of it.  Yes, moments come where I am confused, or lost, or dismayed, but then someone rides by on a unicycle and I burst out in laughter.  Or, a gorgeous Italian man says, “How can I help you, bella?” and my world is suddenly right.

The things that get me down when I am home melt away.  Suddenly, I have more than enough to wear, more than enough money, great hair, and perfect skin.  I think I must just float around glowing, for the most part.  I love it so much I want to stop time and just run around kissing everybody and thank them just for showing up on the street at the same time so I could have this moment of pure bliss.

The only problem that the traveler lifestyle poses is how to make a living while constantly on the go.  After a series of creative positions, I came to the conclusion that I needed a long-term solution for living the lifestyle I wanted to live.  My goal was to figure out how to help others, create multiple streams of income, and simultaneously work from anywhere in the world.  After years of reading hundreds of books on business, philosophy, and passive income strategies, I began to put all the pieces together.  In 2006 I finished my MBA and started my business consulting practice.  I created a “Sustainable Growth Model” that shows business owners how to put your business on virtual auto-pilot and exit to the lifestyle of your dreams.

After more than two years, I realized that my best clients were motivated by the same thing that I am:  freedom.  I also realized that there are those that have the same wanderlust spirit that I do, and they want to figure this out fast, so they can fund their freedom.  These wonderful people are excited about helping others and they realize that if it is done systematically—it doesn’t have to take all day!

The niche of the ‘Business Backpacker’ was formed.  These are my people.  They have been looking for solutions to their quandary of helping others and helping themselves all around the world.  They are interested in adventure and focus on freedom.  They love the ideas and opportunity that life has to offer and want to work on learning more and sharing it with others.  These lifestyle specialists are smart, savvy, educated entrepreneurs that want to live life unconventionally—they want to LIVE MORE AND WORK LESS.  And my favorite part of it all is that I get to help great people like YOU share your greatest gifts and give you the freedom to do what I love best:  Travel & Enjoy Life!!