I am notorious for not being able to leave things alone… or as they are. I ALWAYS want to “Fix Things” or Figure Them Out.  And, while I embrace the ideas (and ideals) of Eastern culture, and Taoism, I tend to be overly curious, by nature…

I want to touch things in museums.
I want to push Emergency buttons to see what happens.
I want to discuss and discover everything about a perfect stranger overnight.
I want to find out how things work.

When I start something new, I jump in 150 percent first thing—letting things happen or develop slowly makes me impatient.

One of my favorite things to do is to assimilate a massive amount of information, filter through it and find the shortest and most direct path to success. I love turning obstacles into opportunity and solving problems- this is how my brain works. This is why I love helping people with their lives and businesses. It is easy for me to see the solutions and help people achieve happiness through personal achievement.

Sometimes Our Greatest Strengths Work Against Us

But sometimes, I like problem solving too much. Sometimes my brain will ‘create’ situations or problems in order to fix them. I don’t do this so much in my own business as much as in my personal life. I find relationships a complete head trip. I’m fine until this hyper-analytical problem solving tendency crosses the line from work to play and I begin spread sheeting and processing people. I put a person through my questioning:

Why did they do that?
What does this mean?
Why do I feel upset?
How do I fix this?

And, sadly (for me) my brain or internal interrogator won’t let up until it has answers. The usual and simplest explanation won’t satiate the interrogator…

• They’re tired / I’m tired
• PMS / illness
• They need to eat / I need to eat
• They need to sleep /I need to sleep
• They’ve had a bad day / I’ve had a bad day
• Or simply: I’m overreacting & taking it personally

I confuse myself even harder by the psychology and Eastern religious philosophies I know.

I brought this on for a lesson; What is the lesson?
Who does this person represent to me; Is this a pattern?
Everything is supposed to happen just as it is; There is a reason for everything.

But, in my head / my reality, something just doesn’t FEEL RIGHT. And so, the struggle for acceptance and peace begins. Letting it go. Giving it up. Handing it over.

Stop Trying to Figure It All Out & Accept Where You Are, And Who You Are

By now I realized I’ve worked myself into a frenzy by Trying To Figure It All Out. I had worked very hard to create an issue over nothing. I have over extended one moment in time to many—over-thought and over-calculated something unnecessarily.  I needed to stop trying to figure it all out, and

One of my favorite bookstores on  Eastern religion is called East West Bookstore located in Mountain View, California. I showed up to look at the latest books and realized there was an author presenting his newly released book, “Build a Better Buddha:  a Guide to Remaking Yourself Exactly As You Are”. I slipped in the back of the room and listened while he shared his journey and wisdom. After the talk, I approached him. Trying to formulate my thoughts, I asked him:

Most of the time, I do pretty well. I try to do the right thing, accepting myself and others. But sometimes I get the “Monkey Mind” you talk about. I just don’t know how to move past these tendencies of being ‘good’ for a period of time, then slipping up and feeling like I’m ‘bad’ and completely digressing into old patterns or behaviors. What do you think I should do?

He smiled coyly, as if he had been there a million times and wrote this inscription in my newly purchased book:

“Take the White & Keep The Black.
No fight; No Blame.”
–Tao te Ching

Six years later, I am finally beginning to understand what he meant.