You feel it. It’s in your gut. It aches. It’s driving you further, and you have no idea why. Every sense of yours is heightened yet simultaneously numbed and the sheer force of will is taking over. It wants you to succeed. It is your burning desire.
It strikes unquestionably, unapologetically, and it refuses to be ignored. You couldn’t take it if you tried, it is a beast without a name. It is a force to be reckoned with. And what you know is the truth. The only way to satiate this feeling is to give in to it, let its force and ferocity consume you and ride the will of the beast.
It is not a choice. It is not even a decision. It is a realization, a discovery, an unearthing. You know as well as I do that you must do this. You must, in order to be free.
Sometimes we try to hide it. We try to ignore it. We try to satiate it with worldly desires, the normal sort of thrills. Games with the opposite sex, entertainment for the senses. And, this never works. It masks. But it is like giving a carrot to a lion. It just raises a brow to you, staring down its nose and asks you with its eyes, “Really?”
Sometimes we try to escape from it. It feels too big, too overwhelming, too strong. If we give into it, what if it consumes us completely? What if we will never feel normal again? What if it destroys us?
Because, that is what we are really thinking. If something has the ability to feel this big, this strong, this consuming, and it is there, burning, wanting to be free, couldn’t the same force work to our opposition and take us over completely? And if we are silly enough to let it rule, is there any hope that our lives will ever be the same?
So many of us stick with our small external desires. The ones we can control. The ones that feel safe. The ones that we don’t give ourselves to completely. The small beasts.
But I am here to tell you that the one inside you will not go away. It is not something you can deceive, outwit, or blindfold. The dormancy only makes for a stronger fire, and the smoldering logs are dry, and hot, and ready to burn free.
But you are afraid. I can see that you are. Because if you weren’t, you would scream a raging howl, and you would let your greatest desires reign.
But you are stuck with questioning.
Here is the thing. Our greatest desires, our burning to be free, our beast within, it does not feel safe.
But how could something truly wild ever feel safe?
It does not feel rational. It defies logic. It doesn’t even make sense.
How could a feeling ever be rational?
It fights, it rages. It wants out.
How am I supposed to know what to do with it when I set it free?
These are all good arguments, all good questionings. But when you can no longer stand the mediocrity, the sheer weight of society to be normal, the plight of the common man—when you get to the point that all of these things seem trite and boring. That’s when he’ll stir. And then you’ll know.
You’ll know that this feeling isn’t something to run from, or to hide. It isn’t something you can burry, or make small offerings to. It is something you must harness and ride.
And it will not feel safe. No.
And it will defy logic. Yes.
And it will take you places beyond your wildest imagination. Places you cannot justify. Places that are wild. And free.
And you will lack the ability to define it. You will lose your words to it. Because sometimes things are much bigger than words. And they become impossible to define. Some things, as it seems, you must experience for yourself. And some things are too big to contain.