“…human beings are equipped with the natural ability to learn and train themselves in the right way to become enlightened so as to overcome sufferings or problems. Particularly, human beings process the greatest intention to search for the ultimate truth in themselves and to be able to rid themselves of ignorance, desires, and attachments as well as become great companions who give the light of peace and real happiness to sentient beings.”
-Phra Songserm Kesaradhammo, Buddhism and Life Development
When you set out to identify your personal mission in life and begin to walk your path, it can seem frightening and lonely. Often times, you will not have anyone by your side, supporting your mission. I have put together this article in attempts to assist and support you in discovering your self-discovery and to encourage you to find the life that you have always dreamed possible.
How to Identify What You REALLY Want
You may not start off with all of the answers upfront. You may just have a prompting in your life that something needs to be different. Throughout life, our needs change, and as we grow we make new discoveries about our life’s work and how to make continual adjustments. This is a never ending process that begins with inquiry. Ask yourself some of the questions below to assess where you are in relation to what you really want:
- How do you feel about your current situation?
- What seems to be working?
- What areas need improvement in your life? List out each area.
- What steps can you take to feel like you are moving towards your purpose in life?
- Who can help you get started, assist with the process, or help to hold you accountable for reaching your new goal?
Defining Your Life’s Purpose
One thing that will keep you going when times get rough is to define Your Life’s Purpose. I believe each of us is here for a particular reason, and we each have something unique to contribute to our society and give back to others. Every time I have done this exercise with my clients, they have discovered that their purpose is to help the world in some way. Spend some time thinking about the following questions and form your Life Purpose Statement below.
- How can I help others?
- What special skill set do I have that I can share with the world?
- How can I contribute to society?
My Life’s Purpose: I want to help the world_____________________________. I can do this by _____________________________. I can be a personal example to others by _____________________________.
Overcoming Doubt, Worry and Frustrations
As you set off from familiar territory doubt, worry and frustration are likely to set in. This is because with every new step you take, you are entering unfamiliar territory. Nothing is predictable because you have never experienced any of it before. As you set out on your path, you may feel as though you have lost your way. This is only natural, because you are moving into the unknown and experiencing something for the very first time. Every time we move forward in our lives, we step into the unknown and have to press forward beyond our perceived limitations to overcome our fears.
There is a saying, “Everything must get worse before it can get better.” We will experience roadblocks, frustrations, and total breakdowns when we are walking our path. I would love to say that your life will be all roses and lollipops but the truth is that we are going to fall down and get hurt. I have had countless moments of self doubt, emotional breakdowns, and times where I wondered out loud, “Why is this so hard?!?” But, looking back, each of these moments have been temporary. What matters is how quickly we can bounce back, get back up, and get back to living our life’s purpose. This isn’t the easiest path, and we will be tested and reshaped by walking the fires of life.
Walking the Fires of Life
You may find yourself thinking you have done something wrong or you are no longer on the right track. When things go wrong, blow up in your face, and discourage you beyond means, life can feel very hard. We may find ourselves asking, “What have I done wrong?” or “What have I done to deserve this?” I would encourage you to approach your perceived situation differently: you are now ready to learn a new lesson. You are now strong enough to face a part of your life that you could not handle before. A friend of me recently reminded me, “The Universe will never give you anything you can’t handle.”
We move forward in our lives to discover the lessons we need to learn. While some of these may be perceived as unfavorable (or even painful), the outcome is always beneficial in some way. One of my favorite books is The Book of Answers by Wu Wei. Based on lessons from the Tao Te Ching, he reminds us that the fires of life are there to shape and mold us into the new person we hope to become. He encourages us to remember in these times that we live in a kind Universe, and everything that happens benefits us in some way.
Relinquishing Expectations as A Way of Life
In order to fully embrace that principle, we must first relinquish any expectations. When we experience disappointment or frustration in our lives, it is only because we had a preconceived notion of how we thought it would be. Whenever our reality contradicts what we want, we will most likely react. We have a tendency to build up imagined situations or false realities in our minds and then become frustrated because the outcomes do not match up. We put expectations on people, places, and things and time after time find ourselves discontented.
One of the truest paths to freedom is to relinquish expectations of what will happen to us in this lifetime. We can focus our intention on positive outcomes, but we must detach ourselves to how and when they happen. By relinquishing our own ‘rules’, we can embrace where we are in life and learn to relax when situations present themselves. We can use the energy that would be wasted in emotional breakdowns and put it instead towards positive action for our life’s purpose. We can learn to trust in the Universe and look for other supportive signs that we are on the right path.
Conclusion
By staying positive, knowing our life’s purpose, and overcoming obstacles, we become stronger. You can further your endurance in life by overcoming doubt, worry, and expectations. Refocus your time and energy towards your mission in life and continue to be the best example that you can be. I commend you for taking the more challenging path, your individual path. This path will lead you to personal freedom and a life you are proud to live and share with others.
“Be cunning and your world will never be destroyed.”
Richard Adams, Watership Down
Twitter Updates
6 July 2009 at 3:35 am
lovely article Brooke – thank you… It was particularly helpful for me to read the paragraph Walking the Fires of Life… Sometimes it can seem sooo bloody hard – and you wonder whether you should give up designing your ideal life – and go for the mortgage, the job, the car in the drive, the kids and the dog..!! at least that way you have some kind of map!
It was a nice reminder for me – that it is usually worth it in the end!
8 July 2009 at 4:39 am
Thank you, Brooke, for this. It is difficult for each of us to identify what we really want. Much of the time what we really want is what we want only that day, or week, or month, etc.
Also I really like the mini life purpose form. This is something that we need to reevaluate from time to time and make sure we are on the right path for our goals.